Little Bean
by soprano193
Summary: AU meeting fic. Kate is a young mother, living in the same apartment complex as Castle. He is annoyed that the baby is crying all night while he tries to write, and goes to yell at her. Instead, he finds her disheveled and upset, pacing with the baby down the hall, and offers to help.
1. Chapter 1

A/N I got an awesome prompt on tumblr for this!Kate is a new single mother, a teenager, living in an apartment complex with her newborn. Castle lives on her floor and has heard this newborn crying at all hours, distracting him from his cramming for midterms. One night, he hears the baby crying again. stepping outside in a fit of rage, Castle is about to yell at whoever is the parent until he spots Kate, pacing the hallway with the child in her arms. He helps her get the baby to sleep and becomes a baby whisperer, and they fall for each other. I hope you all enjoy this!

* * *

><p>Richard Castle ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, and covered his ears, finding the efforts futile, as he could still hear the screaming infant down the hall. He glanced at the clock, the red letters reading 12:37, and sighed, looking again down the hallway, suddenly thankful that Alexis slept like a log. He had been through this before, and he felt for the parents of that poor baby, but it didn't mean that he wanted to listen to it cry all night long. That, and he was two chapters behind on his next novel, which wasn't entirely strange, but he kind of wanted to avoid an extra-long ass-chewing, and actually spend time with his daughter tomorrow. And the landlord was no help, just dismissed his complaint with a wave of his hand, chastising him because "I can't make the baby stop crying, what do you expect me to do?"<p>

The crying quieted to a whimper, and Rick grinned slightly and began typing again. But when the crying started again, this time, louder, he finally decided he'd had enough. He opened the door to his apartment, surprised to find that he didn't have to look far to find the source of the noise. A young woman, just barely twenty, was pacing the hallway with her screaming baby, who was much younger than he had originally guessed. The woman's chestnut locks were tangled, and her eyes had dark bags under them, much like most new parents. He could also see evidence of her makeup running, and he could feel his anger dissipate as he watched her pace with the baby, desperation in her voice as she tried to soothe it. "Oh, little bean, what did I do?" She spoke softly, swaying back and forth. When she turned, her hazel eyes met his, and she brought her hand to her head. "I'm so sorry. It's just, when I get her anywhere close to her crib, she freaks out more, and she's actually quieter out here, and I know it's late I just really want to get her to sleep, and I have no clue what I am doing." The words fell out of her mouth quickly, but quietly, so she wouldn't further upset her daughter.

Rick didn't respond right away. He had come out here to yell at her, and now he just felt bad. "Uh, no worries. I've been there, it gets better as they get older." He offered. He pointed toward his apartment, where Alexis was sleeping soundly. "Mine is five now. I promise, this will fly by."

The woman nodded. "Yes, the redhead. She's a cutie." The baby's cries started to pick up again, and the woman sounded on the verge of tears.

Rick stepped forward, against his better judgment. "You seem tense. What about her father, could he step in and help so you can sit down and cool off?" He suggested. He just wanted the crying to stop.

She let out a silent chuckle and shook her head. "Nope. It's just me." She answered, slowly swaying her body back and forth, clutching the girl close to her chest.

Rick sighed, and scratched the back of his head. "You know, they can sense when you're tense, right?" He offered the knowledge to her, hoping that she had someone, anyone who could help her out.

"Well, I'm screwed then. It's just me." She rested her head against the baby's, closing her eyes as she continued to rock. "Just me and Carrie Jo."

Rick resisted the urge to touch the woman, he wanted to offer her some sort of comfort, but was afraid it would seem too weird. "Okay, so why don't I take her for a bit." The words fell out of his mouth before he could think about them, and he could see her retreating slowly, her eyes locked on his. "No! I mean, I'm sorry." He took a breath before continuing, slowing his thoughts. "You can sit in my apartment, I really don't want to leave Alexis alone. I'll stay right outside the door, you can keep the door open and watch me if you want. But you need a minute, and I'm good with babies."

She glanced down at the crying infant in her arms, and back at him. "I couldn't do that, I don't even know you..."

"I'm Rick, I live across the hall, and I have a pretty amazing daughter named Alexis." He summarized, holding his arms out tentatively for the ailing infant.

She flashed him a small smile. "Hi, Rick. I'm Kate, a student, and this is my incredibly loud daughter Carolyn." She brushed her finger along the girl's face softly, wiping the tears from her cheeks before passing her to Rick. "You'll stand right outside the door. I may be exhausted, but I won't hesitate to chase you down if I have to." She assured him, and he didn't doubt it for a second. He saw the fire that burned in her eyes, her inner mama bear sneaking out, and Rick was instantly drawn to her again, admiring the drive in her that he never saw in Meredith toward Alexis.

He nestled the baby, supporting her head, and using his free hand to open his door. "I don't doubt it for a second. Have some water, lay on the couch, just relax for a second. We'll be fine." He watched her enter his apartment and close the door behind her, and he continued to rock with little Carolyn, murmuring to her softly. She scrunched her eyes up, screaming just as loud, her hands balled in little fists. But Rick stayed calm, wiping away her tears. "Oh, little one," he soothed, "you have got nothing on my Alexis. Have you heard about the tempers of redheads yet? Trust me, one day you will learn." He chuckled quietly to himself, and marveled as she began to relax. "Why don't you do this for your mama? She looks so tired little one, she needs to sleep too you know." She had stopped screaming, quieting to a whimper, and he caught a glance for the first time at her chocolate brown eyes, beautiful and curious, exploring his face as he talked to her. "She's got it rough, you know. Single mom, she's young, but she loves you, little one. Trust me, I could see it in her eyes, she has so much love for you." Her eyes had closed, and her arms were limp, and he breathed a sigh of relief because she was finally asleep. He turned back to his apartment, opening the door, and slowly walking in.

Kate wasn't laying down, but she was leaning against a pillow on the couch, her eyes closed as she cried silently. She looked up when she heard footsteps, wiping her eyes and staring at him. "You got her to sleep?" She asked, incredulously.

"Yeah, I think she just tired herself out." He answered, feeling the warm body in his arms shift slightly. He watched her, his heart skipping a beat, and braced himself for her wail, but she just turned her head, letting out a content sigh. Rick looked back toward Kate, grinning at her. "She's beautiful you know, just like her Mom."

Kate blushed, and brushed hair out of her face. "Thanks. I think she's pretty great." She answered quietly. He wanted to ask her why she had been crying, reassure her that everything was fine, but decided against it. They had just met, and he didn't need to pry any more than he already had. She got up and walked over to him, gently lifting her daughter out of his arms. "Thank you, for helping, and for giving me a second to cool off." She whispered to him, stroking Carolyn's hair softly and gazing at her sweetly sleeping baby.

"Anytime." He answered back. She turned to leave, and he followed close behind, ready to open the door for her. "Can I ask something? How old is she?" He had tried to ignore the question, but he asked anyway, once again digging into her life, where he didn't belong. But something about her had piqued his interest, and he felt like he couldn't stop himself.

Kate turned her head slightly to whisper back to him. "Almost a month. Why?"

He touched her shoulder and she stopped, turning towards him. "You haven't had a night off in almost a month?" She shook her head in response, afraid to speak out loud. "That's insane, Kate. You need a night off. Without it, you'll just grow to resent her. And you have absolutely no help? Your parents, some friends, anyone?"

She shook her head again. "Nope. My Mom is gone, my Dad may as well be gone, and my friends are young, would rather party than be up all night with a baby." She answered softly. She looked down again at the sleeping baby in her arms. "But you're wrong about one thing." She looked back up at him, her eyes shining. "I'll never resent my little bean." She flashed a small smile in his direction again, and walked toward the door. "Goodnight, Rick. Thanks again." With that, she left, Rick watching her from his door until she disappeared behind hers.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Carrie was laying on her mat, looking at herself in the mirror above her head, and kicking her feet at the piano at the bottom of her mat. And Kate was cooing over her, laughing at the sounds she made each time she played a different note. "Great job, Carrie Jo!" She enthused, completely amazed at how high pitched her voice could get, how natural it seemed. She had always thought it would be embarrassing, but she found it so easy, and she didn't care what other people thought. And she had never been a baby person, but her baby, her little bean, was the most important thing in the world to her, and the reason for her to fight for a better life. She stroked Carrie's hair and smiled down at her. "Whatchu doing baby girl?" Kate asked, and Carrie cooed back at her. Kate smiled at that. "Oh, you like talkin to your mama, huh?"<p>

As Carrie cooed again, she heard the rustling of papers being shoved under her door and feet scurrying away. She walked over to the door, and smiled at the gift she had received. It was covered in glitter, and had been colored all over with different color markers. She picked it up, and read the words printed on the top. _Good for two free nights of babysitting! Must give at least two days' notice, but other than that, there are no rules! Expiration date: never. To redeem, knock on the door of apartment 6B, and inquire within. From, the Castles._

She wanted to smack herself. She knew the handsome man looked familiar, but she had no clue that he was Richard Castle, the famous author. The author her mother had introduced her to. She knew he lived in her building, but had no idea he lived that close to her. She silently chastised herself for bothering him, knowing he is busy. She say back down next to her baby, still holding the certificate that he and his daughter had decorated for her.

It was while she looked at it that she realized that he was just like her. He was a single parent, with an incredible daughter, who loved doing the little things with her. Which, of course, included helping her glue glitter to every inch of this paper before sliding it under her door. He got her, more than anyone else, and he was trying to help her out.

She lifted Carrie and hugged her close to her chest. "Come on, bean, we're going to say 'hello' to our new friends, okay?" Carrie looked up at her and cooed, her brown eyes looking directly into Kate's. She grabbed her keys off the counter and left her apartment, locking her door behind her, and marched across the hallway, knocking on the door of 6B.

Rick answered quickly, his face breaking into a huge grin when he saw them both. "You two look so much better after a good night's sleep." He teased, moving aside and inviting them in.

"Yeah, well we have you to thank for that." Kate answered, smiling back at him. She took a seat on the couch and shifted Carrie, laying her back against Kate's chest she could inspect her surroundings. "She's a lot more agreeable when she's not screaming." Kate said, bouncing the infant slightly in her lap.

Rick nodded in agreement, kneeling down in front of Kate and Carrie, playing with the baby's feet. "Hey, little one! Remember me?" He cooed, and Carrie smiled. He grinned back at her, sticking out his tongue and making a silly face, and Kate felt her cheeks warm as she beamed, loving the way he interacted with her daughter.

Kate almost didn't see the redhead appear. She was quiet, her hair in braids, and her blue eyes watching the baby in Kate's lap. Kate waved at her and smiled sweetly. "Hi! Thank you so much for my pretty picture!"

The girl beamed. "Thanks! I like making art projects!" She moved a little closer, watching the baby closely. "What's her name?" She asked quietly, eventually kneeling down next to her father, who was watching the exchange with amusement in his eyes.

"Well, it depends." Kate started. "Her name is Carolyn. I call her Carrie, Carrie Jo, and little bean. And one day, when she gets older, I can yell at her and use her full name. Carolyn Johanna Beckett!" Kate attempted her best angry-mom voice as she barked out her daughter's full name, and Alexis laughed at the effort. Kate rolled her eyes and looked at Rick. "I guess I need to work on that."

He chuckled and nodded his head. "Yeah, but don't worry, it comes naturally." He patted his daughter's head. "I actually have to go to a meeting with my publisher, did you need something?"

Kate shook her head. "Nope! We wanted to say thanks for the note, and say hi, and let you know that it goes both ways, seriously. My door is always open to you both." She stood, nestling Carrie in the crook of her elbow, picking up the baby's arm and making her wave. "Say 'goodbye' to Mr. Castle and Alexis, Carrie Jo!" Alexis liked that, waving back. Kate looked toward Rick again, their eyes locking. "See you soon?"

He nodded. "Of course. Enjoy your day, Kate." She smiled brilliantly at him and left, leaving him to get ready for his meeting. She finally felt hopeful, because she suddenly didn't feel so alone.


	2. Chapter 2

It was maybe a week after meeting Kate that he heard the screaming again. It woke him from his sleep, and he turned, glancing at his clock. 1:43 am. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and hauled himself up, prepared to give her the break she deserved, when he heard something new. Banging. Someone was pounding on her door so hard that the walls were shaking. "Katie!" He heard a male voice yell. "Katie, open up and let me in!" Rick ran at that point, worried she might be in trouble.  
>Outside in the hallway, and older man stood at her door. He was fairly well dressed, but hunched over, leaning against the wall for support, and Rick could smell the alcohol on his breath from his door. Rick walked over to the man slowly, trying not to startle him so he wouldn't shout. When he got to Kate's door, the man waved him away. "This is private business, buddy, go back to bed." He slurred, banging again on the door.<p>

"That's just it, you are making a lot of noise, and obviously upsetting the tenants inside. Can I help you with something?" Rick answered, unsure of the situation, and unwilling to admit at the moment that he knew Kate.

The man pulled himself from the door, standing upright but still unsteady. He pointed at the door. "This is between me and my daughter, so you can go."  
>Rick remembered something that Kate had said, that her mother was gone and her father might as well have been gone, and he suddenly understood what she meant. "The thing is, it seems like your daughter doesn't want to talk to you."<p>

The man blinked back at him, silent for a bit, before leaning in Rick's direction. "Who the hell are you anyway? Are you the boyfriend?" He leaned against the door again. "The father of the baby she has in there?"

Rick shook his head. "No, I'm neither, just a friend, and the neighbor from across the hall." He pointed to his apartment for emphasis. "Now, it's two in the morning, you've woken me up and probably the rest of the hall, and if you wake my daughter, there will be hell to pay. So how about you leave, and come back at a more appropriate hour, or when you've had less to drink, because you're obviously not welcome here."

The man stared at him for a bit before standing upright again, stumbling in Rick's general direction. "You, can't tell me to leave." He slurred, tapping his finger on Rick's nose.  
>Rick ignored the unwanted contact and just took a step back. "You're right, I can't. But I can call the cops. You wouldn't want to get arrested."<p>

The man seemed to be thinking it over, and started backing up, turning to walk down the hallway. "Fine. But I'll be back." He banged on the door one more time, causing Carrie inside to wail even louder. "I'm coming back, Katie. We need to talk! You hear me? We need to talk!" He shouted through the door at the top of his lungs, and finally backed off, stumbling down the hallway.

When Rick was sure he was gone, he knocked on the door softly, his heart falling when he heard her whimpers through the door. "Kate, he's gone. It's Rick." He waited for a couple of minutes, listening to her cry through the door, shushing and speaking to the baby. He knocked again. "Kate, I'm still here, as long as you need me. How can I help?"

The door flew open then, and she launched herself on him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sobbing on his shoulder. He rubbed her back slowly, shushing her and whispering in her ear. "It's okay. You're okay. He's gone." She continued to cry, but pulled away, walking toward Carrie's room to get the wailing baby. Castle stayed in the hallway, unwilling to let his apartment door out of his sight, as the door was still unlocked and Alexis was fast asleep. And apparently, that night was the night for the drunk lunatics to come out from the woodwork.

Kate came back, rocking Carrie gently, tears still streaming down her face, and when she got close, Rick pulled the baby from her arms. She tried to protest, but he refused. "Go sit on my couch, do what you need, I'll get her calm and come to you."

"No, I can't, I just want to get her back to sleep." She cried, rubbing at her own eyes.  
>Rick shook his head. "Kate, that was scary. It was scary for me, and he wasn't directing any of that at me. You need to gather your thoughts." He wiped a tear from her cheek, and smiled warmly at her. "I've got Carrie, just go sit there so Alexis isn't alone. Please. I'm here to help."<p>

She looked into his eyes for a few seconds before nodding. "Okay." She conceded, kissing her daughter's head softly. "Thank you." She whispered to him, squeezing his shoulder as she left, disappearing behind his door.

She hated herself for crying like that in front of him. She had never allowed anyone to see her like that. But now, after hearing her Dad for the first time in months, obviously in the same state she had left him, she was feeling a bit emotional. She fought back her tears as she made her way into Rick's kitchen, getting herself some water and walking over to the sofa. She sat, leaning against the comfy pillows and closing her eyes as she leaned her head back, making herself calm down. She didn't know how much time has passed, but she heard Rick's slow footsteps making their way towards her, and she looked up to see her baby's head lolled to the side, her mouth hanging open. She smiled at the sight, thankful that Rick had been able to get her back to sleep after the whole ordeal. "Thank you." She whispered to him again, wondering if he knew exactly how much she was thanking him for, that it was more than just helping her get Carrie back to sleep.

Rick held up one of his fingers, and walked slowly down the hallway with the baby. He appeared a few seconds later, a victorious look on his face, a pack and play in his free hand. He set it up expertly, faster than Kate would have been able to, and set the sleeping Carrie down in it, pushing it slightly to the side, and then sitting on the couch opposite Kate. "I didn't think I still had that, but I figured it was worth a shot." He told her quietly.

"You didn't have to. We can go." Kate started, standing, but he interrupted her.

"Do you want to be alone right now?" He asked.

She didn't, the pounding on her door still echoed in her soul, the sound of her Dad yelling through the door still sent shivers down her spine, and the idea of her inconsolable daughter brought tears to her eyes. She bit them back and shook her head. "Nope. Not right now."

Rick nodded, grabbing her hand. "Okay. Stay and chat for a bit. You don't have to leave now." She smiled at him shyly and sat again, leaning against the pillows. They were silent for a bit, listening to the soft breathing of the sleeping baby, before Rick spoke. "So, your Dad..." He trailed off, unsure how to finish the thought.

Kate sighed, pulling herself forward and resting her head in her hands, her elbows on her knees. "I mean, we haven't known each other that long. Do you really want my whole sob story?" She asked him.  
>He sat forward, his blue eyes never leaving her face. "If you want to tell me, you can. I won't think any less of you." He answered truthfully.<p>

She hadn't really let someone in her life like this, not since she lost her Mom. It made her feel vulnerable, and she hated that. But Rick had already seen her at just about her lowest, more than a few times, and he always knew just how to help, or so she had learned in the last few days. "Um, okay. Well, last January I lost my Mom." She started, biting back the tears that still jumped to her eyes when she thought of that day.

"Was she sick, or was it an accident?" Rick asked when she had been silent for a while, gently pushing the story along.

Kate shook her head. "Neither. She was murdered. The police said it was just random gang violence, and to this day, her killer is still out there."

Rick sat back, his eyebrows raising as he took what she was saying in. "I can't imagine." He finally offered.

Kate shook her head. "I never had either. You know, you hear about people being killed in the news, on tv, in the shows we watch, but you never think it could happen to someone you know." She gripped the glass of water in her hand while she talked like it was a tether, keeping her connected to reality. "My Dad and I handled it different ways. He tries to drink away her memory, and I honestly haven't seen my father like himself in a long time. I went for something more…" she trailed off, unsure of exactly how much she wanted to give up, "life affirming, I guess. And now, I have Carrie." She looked over to the sleeping bundle in the corner, and felt the corners of her mouth turn upward. "I of course told my Dad I was pregnant, and told him when she was born, but I also told him that he couldn't be in her life unless he was sober. He hasn't made an effort to meet her yet, and today I emailed him a little reminder with pictures letting him know a month had passed, which I think is what started the whole shit show that just took place outside my door." She had wrestled with herself before she sent the email, but truthfully, she didn't want to cut her father out of their lives. Maybe, if he knew what he was missing, he would come around.

Rick was silent while everything she had said sunk in. "So, how are you planning on making this work? I mean, you've mentioned school before, and you have to go back to work eventually. And you obviously can't lean on your father for support."

"Well, I have a friend from high school whose parents run a daycare. They've offered to help me out at a discount, which is really helpful. I actually head back to work on Monday, and I start taking classes again next semester." She had taken this semester off, knowing it would be more difficult with a newborn and no plans and very little support. "The only reason I can afford this place is from the life insurance money. Ideally it would go toward school, but I can't live at home, so…" She shrugged. She was a fighter, and so was her daughter. They would make it through this.

Rick leaned forward again, catching her hand. "Well, if you ever need help, if you need someone to take her last minute, I'm right across the hall. I mean that."

She smiled softly. "Thanks." She glanced again toward her sleeping daughter. "I really should get home." She could see him start to protest, and held up her hand. "I'm better now, I'll be okay. It's late, and I should get out of your hair." She walked over to the pack and play and slowly lifted Carrie, who curled up to the warmth of her mother's chest. Kate walked to the door, and turned just before she left. "Do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow night? You and Alexis, so I can properly say thanks?"

Rick smiled back at her. "We'd like that. Goodnight, Kate."

"Goodnight, Rick." She went through his doors, meeting his eyes one last time as she closed it quietly behind her.

Wednesday night dinner became a normal thing for them, as that was Kate's usual night off, and she found herself bonding with the writer and his daughter. They started switching nights, one week she would cook and the next week he would return the favor, and it was a weekly ritual they had all grown to look forward to. Carrie was five months old before Kate changed that arrangement, finally cashing in on a night of free babysitting, so she could go out for her twenty-first birthday. When Rick and Alexis knocked on her door that night, Alexis clutching onto her DVD copy of Beauty and the Beast, he was floored when she answered the door dressed in a simple green dress,that ended at her knees and hugged her curves in ways he had never seen before. "Hi, Kate!" Alexis squealed, hugging her legs and running into the apartment. "I brought a movie to watch with Carrie!" She waved it around in the air, and Rick didn't think Kate could have really seen what it was if she tried.

Kate smiled at the young girl. "I'm sure she'll love it." She turned back to Rick, who was still in the door. "Are you going to come in?"

He followed his daughter in, finding her kneeling in front of the swing, chattering excitedly at the baby who was nestled there. Carrie smiled back at Alexis, squealing excitedly. Kate and Rick watched the children interact with smiles on their faces, her leaning against his arm. She turned to him suddenly. "How do I look? Is it too much?" She twirled slowly, looking up at him, her hazel eyes searching his face for an explanation.

Rick grinned as he got to check her out, chuckling as she twirled. "Great. Seriously, you look fantastic." He had always known she was beautiful, he could see that every time he looked at her. Her usual outfits were comfortable so she could play with children. And her work uniform was too big for her, the shirt baggy, not revealing anything that was hidden underneath. But he had never seen her dressed like this, her hair done, a small sexy dress, her back straight with confidence after receiving his compliment. No, Kate Beckett was more than just pretty, she was hot.

She beamed at him. "Thanks!" She grabbed her purse off the counter, pulling out a slip of paper and handing it to him. "This is where we are going, so if you need me you can reach me there." She glanced again toward the children in her living room. "I won't stay out later than 11 if possible, I wouldn't want Alexis to be up too late."

Rick grabbed her wrist, stopping her from talking. "Kate, it's your birthday. Alexis can sleep on the couch if she needs to. Just have a good time."

She smiled. "I will." If she was worried about leaving the baby behind, she didn't let it show. She reached up and hugged him tightly. "Thank you so much, Rick."

"Anytime." He answered her. He watched her walk over to Carrie, lift her, and shower her with kisses before putting her back in the swing and waving goodbye.

Rick walked into the living room, admiring Kate's own Disney movie collection. He gathered his excited little girl in his arms. "Alright, pumpkin. What do you say we put in that movie?" And with that, his fun night began. They watched three different movies, all with a plethora of musical numbers, which Alexis performed for him, and Carrie watched with glee. She was definitely a music fan, flicking her attention between Alexis and the screen every time there was a song. Rick found it fascinating, and loved that her personality was showing from such a young age. Eventually, he got Carrie to sleep, despite the concerts Alexis was putting on. And by ten, Alexis was asleep on the couch, her head in his lap.

Kate walked in a few minutes after eleven. Rick waved at her from the couch, and moved slowly, trying not to jostle his daughter awake. He met her in the kitchen. "So, did you have fun?" He asked her, leaning against the island.

She nodded. "I did, thank you." She held out a bottle of wine. "They didn't even ask me for my ID when I bought this. So disappointing." She chuckled. "Would you like a glass?"

Rick laughed at her softly. "Sure. Why not." She pulled some glasses from her cupboards, regular glasses, as she didn't have any wine glasses, and she poured them each a glass. Rick took a sip of his before speaking. "So, I have to say, you don't look to drunk for your twenty-first birthday."

She grinned, and shook her head. "I have a rule. I don't go out and get blackout drunk anymore."

"Anymore?" He asked, his interest piquing.

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it was part of my whole life-affirming phase. I made some decisions that I'm not exactly proud of."

She quickly glanced toward Carrie's room before meeting his eyes again, something that Rick noticed that he wished he hadn't. "Carrie?"

She scrunched up her face. "Sort of. I mean, I'm proud of everything I've done with her, how far we've come and everything, but, let's just say that I didn't want to get pregnant at nineteen."

Rick nodded. "I get that. It must have been hard, especially with everything else you were going through." He took another sip of wine. "You are doing a fantastic job, though."

Kate smiled. "Thanks." She played with her hands. "Sometimes, though, I just wish I could give her a father." Rick stayed silent, letting her figure out what she wanted to say, having learned that she comes forward easier if he doesn't pry where she doesn't want him to. She looked at him then, her sad hazel eyes meeting his. "I'm afraid for the day that she asks me why everyone else in her class has a Dad and she doesn't. I'm afraid that she'll ask me who he is, and I won't know what to say. I'm afraid that she'll miss something growing up without one present." She stopped, taking another sip of her drink, and gripping the cup like a vice. "I mean, as much as I can't stand my dad now, at least growing up we got along. I want that for her. We are supposed to want better for our kids, and I just feel sometimes like we are getting off on the wrong foot."

Castle stopped her there, his hand on hers, squeezing it gently. "You don't think I want that? I have full custody of Alexis because Meredith didn't want to fight for her, would rather have a career as a movie star than a career as a mother, even though I tried to tell her she could have both." She smiled at her. "I know it seems daunting right now, but it gets better. It gets easier. And that little girl will never resent you." He pulled her in for a hug then, kissing her forehead gently and squeezing her tight. "Over the years, she'll find male role models to look up to, just like Alexis has found some female ones, my mother and you."

Kate pulled away. "Alexis looks up to me?" She asked, heat rushing to her cheeks.

Rick nodded. "Yeah, she does. She loves you, Kate, and Carrie. She thinks Carrie is hysterical." He had found Alexis a few days ago, trying to curl her hair with her fingers so it would look more like Kate's. And she always asked questions about her, and looked forward to their Wednesday dinners more than anything, bouncing at the door a half an hour before they were supposed to leave.

Kate smiled. "Well, I love her too. She's a sweet kid. You've done a good job."

He felt the corners of his mouth turning up as his chest puffed with pride. "Thanks." He looked toward her, still asleep on the couch. "I should probably take her home now, get her into bed."

Kate squeezed him one last time before releasing him. "Okay. I have an earlier shift tomorrow, so I should head to bed anyway." She told him as he went to the couch, lifting the five year old and holding her so her head rested on his shoulder. Kate opened the door for him. "Goodnight, Rick. Thanks again."

Goodnight Kate. Happy birthday." He turned to look at her one last time, his eyes dancing with mirth. "You should dress like that more often."

She smiled and shook her head, waving and closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** A lot of people are worried about her funds, which I sort of addressed here, but I don't talk about Castle's (because it wasn't pertinent). My personal headcanon for this is that he has used his money first to pay off his debts, and get Alexis in a nice school, and had to pay for a divorce, and that they are sort of between places at the moment until he finds something nicer, hence why they are living in the same building.

Your outpouring of support has been incredible! I'm glad you are enjoying this!


	3. Chapter 3

Kate adjusted the nine month old on her hip while holding onto the pink gift bag in her hands. She could hear the shrieking coming from within, and knew that he party was well underway.

Rick had moved about a month and a half ago, telling Kate that 6B was only temporary, and that he really hoped this would be his and Alexis' forever home. She hadn't thought she would be so heartbroken about it. After all, they had each other's numbers, and they could definitely see each other whenever they wanted to. She worried at first that they would slowly drift apart, until Rick called her late on Tuesday, asking where dinner would be the following night. Their ritual remained, which helped, but Kate missed having them right across the hall, hearing Alexis' excited chatter as she came home from school each day, their random Disney movie nights with the girls whenever the mood hit.

Most of all, she missed the companionship of someone in her position, and someone who knew all of her baggage. He had surprised her in January. He hadn't asked her how she was on the second anniversary of her mother's death. He had just knocked on the door and taken Carrie, telling her he needed the baby to inspire him, reassuring her that it didn't count as her second free night of babysitting, and telling her to do whatever it was she wanted for the day. She didn't know how he found out the date, she didn't remember mentioning it, but he freed her for the day, allowing her to purchase flowers and visit her Mom's grave without worrying about chasing around Carrie. That night, Carrie slept in the pack and play in his living room while Kate sat with him and told stories all night. She laughed, and she cried, but in the grand scheme of it all, she was just happy to have someone who would listen, and be her shoulder to cry on.

After Kate knocked, and older woman with fiery hair answered the door. She looked Kate up and down, and tried to peer behind her to see if there was an older kid somewhere behind her. Kate smiled sheepishly. "Hi, I'm Kate. If I remember correctly, it's someone's birthday today."

As she said her name, she heard a high pitched squeal, and saw a flash of red as Alexis dashed forward and attacked her legs. "You made it!" Alexis smiled up at them, her blue eyes wide and her grin infectious.

Kate smiled back down at her and stroked her hair. "Of course we came! We wouldn't miss it!" She held out the gift to her. "I don't know where you are keeping these, could you bring it in for me?"

Alexis grinned, grabbing the present and taking off. "Thank you, Kate!" She yelled over her shoulder. Kate laughed at the sight, as the older woman wrapped an arm around her back, leading her inside.

"So, you are the wonderful Kate I have heard so much about from my son and granddaughter." She rubbed a thumb over Carrie's cheek. "And you must be Carolyn!" She looked back toward Kate, their eyes meeting, and Kate found herself wondering exactly how many of Rick's relatives shared his piercing blue eyes. "I'm Martha, grandmother of the birthday girl."

Kate smiled, already a fan of the way Martha spoke, full of drama, and she sensed that her life would never be dull as long as Martha was in it. "It's great to finally meet you. Your son speaks highly of you."

As if on cue, Rick appeared from around the corner, wrapping both Kate and Carrie in a giant hug. "I'm so glad you both could make it." He said before they broke apart. He took Carrie from Kate's arms, lifting her above his head and blowing raspberries on her stomach, resulting in a fit of giggles from her.

"Of course we came, we wouldn't have missed it." Kate responded, walking over to Carrie and rubbing her hand up and down her back. "Can you say 'hi' to Rick, little bean?" She didn't notice that she had wrapped her other arm around Rick's back until she saw the hopeful look Martha was throwing their direction, at which she quickly pulled away.

"Hi!" Carrie spoke quickly, and flapped her arm. It was her newest trick, and Kate delighted in showing it off.

Rick grinned. "Hey, bean. I've missed you!" He kissed her cheek loudly, and she giggled. He hugged Carrie close to him and turned back to Kate. "Seriously, the two of you being here means a lot to Alexis. Meredith is MIA, unfortunately."

Kate's heart fell for the girl. Even though no one really expected Meredith to come, Alexis had really been looking forward to it. She had chattered Kate's ear off about it at the last Wednesday dinner. "I love Alexis. I couldn't wait. And Carrie helped pick out her gift, so we had to come." She offered in explanation.

Rick walked toward the living room with Carrie, setting her down. "You didn't have to get her anything." He said over his shoulder, beckoning to a spot on the couch for her to sit. It was the first time Kate really noticed that they weren't alone, that there were three other women sitting in the couch as well. Kate waved shyly at them. "Oh! I'm sorry, Kate, this is Nicole, Molly, and Theresa." He pointed down the line as he said their names. "That would be Paige, Sammy, and Monica's mothers. They are around here somewhere, I think they're on the scavenger hunt." Kate found herself eerily aware of how quiet it was for four young children being somewhere in the loft. He glanced around before heading toward the stairs. "I'm going to go check on them. But, Kate, make yourself at home. You know the drill."

She smiled at him as he disappeared, sinking down in that empty spot on the couch and watching Carrie crawl around. She picked up one of Alexis' dolls and started to inspect it. "What do you have there, bean? Did you find a baby?" Carrie held it out to her, and Kate got down on the ground with her, taking the doll and cradling it to her, before handing it back to Carrie. "Can you rock the baby Carrie?" Carrie took the doll again and clutched it to herself, wrapping her arms around it's neck and wiggling. Kate laughed at the sight in front of her.

"Katherine, can I ask you a question?" She heard Martha ask as she sat in an empty seat. She felt the corners of her mouth turn up at the use of her full name. No one had called her that in a while, and it sounded nice with a bit of dramatic flair. "Why do you call Carolyn 'bean?'"

Kate smiled thinking of the memory. "My first ultrasound, I was a little apprehensive, I guess. I hadn't fully accepted the fact that I was pregnant. But as soon as I heard her heartbeat and saw her, I fell in love with her." She stroked Carrie's curly brown hair, tighter curls than she'd ever had. "And she looked like a little bean in the picture. So that's what I called her until I chose her name."

"I like bean." Nicole spoke up. "I call Paige my little monkey, but bean is cute."

Kate smiled. "That is adorable!" She chuckled to herself. "My mom used to call me 'trouble', so I guess anything is better than that." The women all laughed in response.

Martha pointed upstairs. "I called Richard that too. It's no wonder he's taken a fancy to you." Kate blushed at the comment, she'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about it, but she definitely didn't think he saw her that way. She moved Carrie into her lap as Martha continued to question her. "So, Richard says you are going to school. What are you going for?"

Kate tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm studying criminal justice actually. I just switched majors last semester."

"What got you interested in that?" Martha asked, leaning forward, anticipating the answer. It was the question Kate hated most, because it usually meant she'd have to talk about her mother.

She shrugged. "I just watch a lot of crime shows, I guess. I thought it would be interesting." She lied easily, not about to tell a room full of strangers about the hardest thing she had ever experienced.

Thankfully, Rick appeared, the four girls following him down the stairs. "All was fine, they are just scary good at being quiet." He announced, walking into the living room as the girls crowded around the arts and crafts. He sat on the ground next to Kate, who was watching Carrie pull herself up on the coffee table. He nudged his shoulder into hers. "This is not what I meant by 'make yourself at home.'"

Kate laughed. "I have a baby, and she spends a lot of time on the floor. This is exactly what I do at home."

They stayed like this for a while, chatting on the floor while the kids did various activities. Rick moved eventually to do the pin the tail on the donkey game, as well as the piñata. It was shaped like a star, yellow, pink, and blue crepe paper radiating out from the center in bands. Carrie got a kick out of watching the kids hit it, squealing with delight every time the stick made contact with the piñata.

After cake, chocolate cake of course, Alexis opened presents, and soon after that, everyone was leaving. Rick helped Alexis bring all her toys upstairs, and Kate say in the living room with Martha, a very sleepy baby sitting in her lap and fighting sleep. Kate watched him interact with his daughter, the way his face lit up when she talked, how he wrapped her up in his arms. It was definitely one of his most attractive qualities, that and his ability to tell a story. And his eyes, she couldn't get enough of his eyes. "You know, he fancies you."

Martha's voice cut through her daydreaming, and she turned to look at the older woman. Kate shook her head. "You must have made a mistake. We're just friends."

Martha smiled. "No, you see, I know when my son is smitten. And I can see it when he looks at you. And I can see it when you look at him."

"Why me, though? I'm nothing special." Kate answered her back, hating the words as they came out of her mouth, but believing them.

Martha leaned forward. "That's not how he describes you. He calls you extraordinary, strong, smart, beautiful, tough, and those are just a few of the words I've heard him use." She smiled sweetly at Kate. "Don't sell yourself short, darling. You'll miss out on a lot of you never think you're good enough."

Kate let her words sink in, making a mental note to work on herself so that she could see that too. "Thanks, Martha." She smiled warmly at the older woman, going over her words again in her head as Rick came in the room and sat down.

"Alexis loves the art set you got her." He said, stroking Carrie's hair softly.

Kate grinned. "Good, I'm glad. I had two other options, Carrie was the one who picked out the color." The sets contained pretty much everything you could imagine, and came in mostly pink, mostly blue, and mostly green. Carrie had grabbed on to the green one, so that's what Kate had bought. Kate looked at her wide-eyed daughter, her eyes watering from the effort to keep them open. "I need to get her home. She's exhausted."

"Would you like help to your car?" Rick offered.

Kate nodded. "I'd love that, actually." She nudged the baby bag in his direction with her foot, and he picked it up and walked toward his door.

As Kate followed him out, Martha gathered her into a hug. "It was great to finally meet you, Katherine." She stroked Carrie's hair and kissed the side of her head. "And you too, Carolyn."

Kate smiled warmly. "We were happy to meet you too." She addressed her daughter, who was studying the older woman, not quite sure what to make of her yet. "Can you say bye-bye to Martha, Carrie Jo?"

"No!" She wrinkled her face and began to scream.

Kate wiped her face with her thumbs. "My fault. She hates saying goodbye." She explained.

Martha laughed. "Well, we won't say goodbye then. Until we meet again!" She offered, raising her arms dramatically, making Kate laugh.

"Of course. See you soon, I hope." Kate answered. She walked over to where Rick was waiting at the door, Carrie still screaming in her ear. "Look." Kate pointed to Rick. "Look who's over there waiting for us." Carrie calmed down as she saw him, forgetting the offending "bye-bye" remark, her face breaking into a huge grin.

Rick walked with them down to her car, and waited while she strapped Carrie in. He kissed the baby softly on the cheek, telling her he'd see her soon, avoiding the word 'goodbye' to avoid another meltdown. He closed the door and reached for Kate, pulling her into a hug she wasn't expecting. She wrapped her arms around him, allowing him to pull her in tightly. "Thanks again for coming." He said to her, squeezing his arms around her middle.

"Of course." She pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes. They were shining, and for the first time, she saw what Martha had described, all his feelings toward her shone in his eyes. He leaned forward slightly. _He's going to kiss me. He's really going to kiss me_. She leaned forward too, ready to let him, but as soon as their lips were supposed to touch, she looked down and away, his kiss landing on her forehead. She couldn't bring herself to look at him, to see the disappointment in his eyes. But he was Richard Castle, billionaire writer, amazing father, and incredible friend, while she was just Kate. She squeezed his arm one last time before backing away, stealing a glance at his face, which she was surprised to see looked as normal as possible, and she wondered how hard it was for him to keep it straight. She opened her door. "See you Wednesday?" She thought it was silly asking, but with what had just transpired, she needed to make sure that they were still okay.

He nodded and flashed her a small smile. "Wednesday it is. Your place this week."

She turned her head to him one last time before she closed the door. "Make sure you give Alexis a giant hug for me, okay." He nodded and waved in response, walking up to the front door of his apartment complex. And she drove away, Martha's words echoing in her head, regretting the decision to look down.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** This was supposed to have three chapters, but I really need a fourth... This story isn't done, and this chapter took me somewhere else, somewhere I didn't expect it to. I hope you all enjoy it!


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey Dad,_

_So, Carrie is nine months old now. She's pretty good at pulling herself up on furniture, and she likes to stand and just look at things. She loves taking in the world, Dad. She is really friendly with just about everyone, and just an all-around happy baby. And so smart. She likes to pretend to talk on the phone. She knows a lot of words now, way more than she is supposed to I hear, and she likes to sing along with music. It's really adorable. _

_Sometimes, she makes a face, and she looks just like Mom, it can be eerie. It makes me wonder if she does that because I do it, and then I guess I don't blame you so much for pushing me away. But it makes me happy to see Mom in my daughter, because it means that I will always remember her. _

_She plays this game. I ask her the most outlandish things, like "do you want a million dollars?" or "do you want to ride in a rocket to the moon?" and she always says "no!" I happen to think it's hilarious. Maybe she'll carry on the tradition and become the next Beckett family lawyer, because that line of work isn't quite for me._

_I'm still waitressing down at Remy's, and taking classes at NYU. I should graduate in the winter, and I'd love for you to be there. Of course, I'll tell you where and when. What kind of daughter would I be if I didn't?_

_I miss you, Dad. I miss our talks, your hugs, how you always supported me no matter what. I see my friend, Rick, interact with his daughter, and it reminds me of you. I know you would be such a great influence on Carrie. You've never responded to a single one of these e-mails, sometimes I wonder if you even open them. I hope you are doing well, and I really hope to see you soon._

_Love, Katie._

Kate attached a few pictures to the email, like she always did. Carrie grinning cheesily at the camera, a picture Rick had snapped of them together, Carrie sitting in Kate's lap while they watched The Little Mermaid, Carrie banging on her plastic drum, and a picture of Alexis reading Goodnight Moon to Carrie. She hit the send button on the email, and turned the computer off.

She picked the baby up from where she was playing on the floor. "Come on, Carrie Jo, we are running late!"

Carrie looked at her mother quizzically. "Go?"

Kate nodded, grabbing Carrie's diaper bag and jacket. "Yep. We've got to go to see Rick and Alexis."

Carrie grinned from ear to ear and wiggled in her mom's arms. "Rih!"

Kate laughed. "Okay, make sure you call him that, it will add to his ego." And maybe cheer him up. The last dinner had been awkward, neither of them really talking after their missed opportunity down by Kate's car. She was hoping this one would be better.

When she knocked on the door, Martha answered, inviting them in with flair and a twist of her arm. "Katherine and Carolyn, it's so great to see you both!" She enthused, wrapping them both in a hug.

Kate pulled away first, a smile on her face. "It's great to see you too!" She walked into the loft, finding Alexis hard at work tossing a salad, and Rick bent over a saucepan. She waved. "Hi guys!"

"Kate!" Alexis ran at her, almost knocking her over with the force of her hug. She looked up and smiled. "Hi, Carrie! Did you learn to walk yet?"

Kate laughed. "She's still working on that one, but I'll let you know as soon as that happens." She pointed over at Rick, who had turned around to watch the exchange. "Hey, little bean, who's that?"

Carrie threw her arms in the air. "Rih!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

His face broke into the biggest grin she had ever seen on him, and he walked forward to take her from her mom's arms. "That's right! Rick! I'm Rick!" He cooed at her, lifting her above his head and kissing her cheek.

Kate laughed at them, her heart melting as he interacted with her daughter. "Yeah, that's her newest trick, she just learned it today. I thought you'd like it."

He grinned. "I do like it, so much." He wrapped his arm around Kate, engulfing her in a warm hug. "It's exactly what I needed to hear." He pulled away, placing Carrie on the floor so she could crawl around while Kate chased her. "I hope you don't mind that I invited my mother. You two really seemed to hit it off."

"Of course I don't mind." She answered. She had the sinking suspicion that he had only invited Martha because things had been so weird with them, so that she could be a person to move the conversation along if there was a lull, someone to keep him comfortable. "So, what did you two do all day?" She asked, following Carrie into the living room.

Rick put plates out on the table as he talked. "Well, I had meetings with my publicist, and Black Pawn. Then, I picked Alexis up from school, we had a tea party, and then I started cooking dinner. You?"

Kate shrugged. "We played with blocks and she banged on her drum. While she napped, I studied, she woke up and I sent my monthly email to Dad, and then we came here."

"Has he responded to anything yet?"

Kate shook her head. "Nope. But he hasn't shown up outside my door screaming again, so I'd say there's been some progress."

"So you don't talk to your father at all?" Martha asked, standing by the island and pouring three glasses of wine.

Kate shook her head. "No. He's not in the right place to be a good influence on my daughter." She picked up Carrie, walking over to the table where dinner was being served. "I keep him updated, but I haven't talked to him in person since before Carrie was born."

"Well, then it's his loss." Martha supplied, handing one of the glasses to Kate. "You two are marvelous."

Kate felt heat rising to her cheeks. "Thanks." She let the words sink in, trying hard to believe them, so she could start feeling better about herself, and see herself the way Rick and Alexis saw her. She turned toward Rick, grabbing his hand. "I wouldn't be anywhere without you though. Seriously."

He shook his head. "No, this," he waved his hands in a circular motion around her and Carrie, "this is all you."

She grinned. "Yeah, but you gave me some sanity, and I may have given up on myself without it. So, thanks."

He smiled, taking Carrie from her lap and placing her on his, sharing his pasta with her. "Anytime, Kate. You still have that free night of babysitting, that can do wonders for your sanity, you know."

"Trust me, I'm aware, and I'm saving it for a night when I really need it." She took a bite of her pasta, and turned to the young redhead sitting across from her. "So, what did you do at school today?"

Alexis grinned, happy to be acknowledged. "We painted pictures today! I painted one of my closest friends, and Daddy and Gram and you and Carrie!" Kate perked up hearing that, excited to have been included. "And we played duck duck goose! And seven up! Oh! And I read a book about a princess in a paper bag!"

Rick chuckled. "A paper bag? That's brilliant! Then, she can color any type of dress she wants on it!"

Alexis rolled her eyes, something Kate found all too familiar. "Dad, no! Her clothes got burned by a dragon, but she escaped the dragon, and her prince didn't want her anymore, but she didn't care. It had nothing to do with dresses."

"I remember that book." Kate said to her. "It's very good. I think I have it in Carrie's library somewhere."

Alexis' eyes grew wide. "Carrie has a whole library?"

Kate laughed. "Well, not really. She has a bookshelf filled with lots and lots of books, because I want her to be a reader like I am one day."

"I like to read!" Alexis announced.

Kate laughed. "That's very good! Reading makes you smarter, it helps you spell, and you can learn so much." She explained.

"Are you a fan of any books in particular?" Rick asked, his eyebrows wiggling.

"All sorts. Nothing specific." Kate answered, trying her hardest not to give away that she was a fan in any part of her face.

"Daddy writes books!" Alexis blurted out, earning a chuckle from Martha.

Kate was laughing. "Does he? I thought his name sounded familiar." She didn't offer any more explanation than that, and could practically see Rick's chest puffing out with pride out of the corner of her eye. Her love of his books was something that was hard for her to talk about. Her mother had slid In a Hail of Bullets across the kitchen table over her thanksgiving break, telling her "you'll like this." Kate had fallen, and after her mother's death, found solace knowing that her mother had read the same words, maybe shared the same thoughts. She had taken her mother's copies and added them to her own personal library, taking them out when she needed to feel close to her.

"I do write books. I'm figuring out a new one now, some crime fighting, action and mystery series, maybe." Rick continued.

Kate grinned slyly. "Well, whenever it comes out, let me know. I might check it out." She tried to act nonchalant, but looking at Martha, she had the sinking suspicion it wasn't working, at least not on her.

They finished dinner, Kate helping to clean with Martha while Rick watched the kids. Alexis was talking excitedly about laser tag, and jumping around, and Carrie was watching her with the biggest grin on her face. Kate laughed at them while she cleared the table.

Martha placed her hand on the small of Kate's back. "You're doing a fine job with that little one over there." She nodded in Carrie's direction.

Kate blushed. "Thanks, I guess. She's pretty great, I haven't had time to screw her up yet."

Martha rolled her eyes. "Now, why would you go and say something like that?" Kate was silent as she moved to the sink, unsure of her answer. "I mean, is it because you're young? Because she doesn't have a father? Because you feel all alone? Katherine, I get it, I really do."

Kate looked at her, surprise on her face. "You were a single mother?" She had always just assumed that Rick's father had died. She never pried when he didn't talk about him, just figured it was a situation similar to hers, hence why he was so compassionate.

"Yes, dear." Martha nodded, drying the dishes Kate was washing. "And I didn't know Richard's father either. I had no support, my parents didn't want anything to do with me, and I had to figure out the best way to raise him." She looked over towards her son, who was fully engaged with the two girls that were playing in his living room. "I've felt everything you're feeling, the doubt, the shame, the would haves and the should haves, the joy, the disappointment, I've felt it all. So here is advice that I wish I had gotten sooner." She reached for Kate's hand. "Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. Your mistakes aren't worse, and won't mess her up more, just because you are single and young."

Kate felt her cheeks turning up, and leaned forward, wrapping the older woman in an embrace. "Thanks, Martha."

They pulled away. "Anytime, dear. Just remember this. You are the only thing that little girl has right now. She has nothing to compare you to. She thinks you're the best, and that's the only opinion that matters."

Kate nodded. "I'll keep that in mind." They finished cleaning in relative silence, and then Martha went to the piano and put on a show for them, singing songs from old Broadway shows, Alexis dancing around the living room.

Before Kate knew it, Carrie's head was lolling against her as she fought to keep her eyes open. Kate stood, holding her close and reaching for the diaper bag. Rick grabbed it before she had the chance. "Can I help you to the car? I wanted to ask a favor."

"Sure." Kate answered, keeping a straight face despite her apprehension. The last time he had accompanied her to the car hadn't gone like it should have. They left with little fanfare, trying not to upset the infant, Kate following Rick to her car. She snapped Carrie in while he put the bag in the front seat. She closed Carrie's door and looked at him, trying to ignore the awkward feeling in the pit of her stomach. "How can I help you?"

He ran his hand through his hair. "I have a promotion for my book coming up in three weeks. It's just for two days over a weekend, and my Mom is going to Chicago for something, I don't remember what. And Meredith is God knows where, and Alexis hates flying, so..."

"Rick." She interrupted him, he was rambling. "I can keep an eye on her, and you gave me enough time to make sure I have it off, so it really won't be a problem." She smiled at him. "I love that little girl, I would do anything for her."

He broke into his boyish grin. "Thanks. I'll get a copy of my key, and make sure the pack and play is set up for you."

"You want us to stay here? Alexis can take my bed, I can take the couch, it's no big deal." She spoke quickly, the words falling out of her mouth.

He hesitated. "I mean, if you want to do that you can, I just figured you might like to have an actual bed. If you'd rather stay at your place, that's okay too."

She brushed some hair out of her face and looked down. Of course he was thinking of her, and her comfort. "I didn't really think of that. No, I'll stay there, it makes a little more sense."

He grinned again. "Thanks." He pulled her in for a hug, and she hated how stiff their bodies had become against each other, both afraid to step over the line that she had drawn in the sand.

"Anytime." She answered, pulling away. She walked over to her side of the car. "I'll see you later, Rick. Don't be a stranger." She flashed a small smile in his direction and got in the car, turning it on and driving away.

Carrie was asleep by the time she got back to her place. She carefully removed her from the car, trying not to jostle her awake, because she knew she would not be easy to get back to sleep, and walked quickly through the cold air to get into her building.

Kate almost didn't notice him when she bumped into him in the elevator. It wasn't until he said her childhood name in a quiet voice that she looked up. "Dad?" She spoke quietly, believing that it was a dream.

He nodded. "Yeah, it's me." He was dressed casually, jeans and a gray T-shirt, his brown leather jacket unzipped. His eyes looked haunted and distraught, but they were clear, and Kate breathed a sigh of relief. "I came to talk, if you'll let me."

She eyed him up and down, weary to let him in, but reluctant to turn him away. "How long have you been waiting?" She asked if they rode the elevator up.

"Two hours." He answered with a small smile and shrug of the shoulders. "I asked about you at Remy's, they told me it was your day off. So I came out here and sat outside your door."

She led him toward her apartment, feeling somewhat trapped. She couldn't send him home when he had waited all day, could she? She stopped outside of her apartment, sticking the key in the lock. Before opening the door, she turned toward her father, clutching Carrie closer to her chest. "I need to put her to bed first, then we'll talk. But don't touch anything, don't touch her, and don't say anything until I say it's okay. And if I want you to leave, then leave." Kate laid out her terms and easy words, whispering so she wouldn't wake her sleeping daughter.

He nodded. "I can do that." He knew she was stubborn, knew this would only work on her terms, and if that was what she needed to be comfortable, he was more than happy to give it to her.

He stood awkwardly in the living room while she moved about, almost as if he was afraid to sit, and looked around, taking her living situation in. She ignored him, changing Carrie's wet diaper before laying her in her crib. She stayed in the comfort of her daughter's room for a while, trying to figure out exactly what she wanted to say before she walked into her living room, closing Carrie's door behind her.

She looked at her father now, angry and confused. "You've never once responded to any of my emails, what changed today?"

"This." He held up a small round object. As he held it out to Kate, she realized it was a blue chip. On it there were words, 'to thine own self be true,' and a triangle. In the center of the triangle was a big number six. "Six months sober, Katie." He explained. "I got it at my meeting today, and that was when I told myself I'd come see you."

Kate was proud of him, she really was. But she was upset too. Because for six months he had been sober. For six months he's had a clear head. But not once has he reached out to her. "Good." She finally said, handing it back to him.

He took a step toward her. "Katie, I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear that." She interrupted, holding back the tears she knew would fall soon. "You weren't there when I needed you, Dad. I was all alone after Mom died. You didn't want me in the house because I looked like her, you took out your anger at the world on me, and it wasn't fair."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"No, don't say that! You're only saying that because you feel sorry for yourself, you don't realize what this did to me." She moved away from Carrie's door, worried she might wake, but still stayed as far away from her father as she could. "I couldn't go home, Dad. I had nowhere to turn. I thought that getting blackout drunk was the way to handle tragedies like this, and I did get drunk a few times, I'm not going to lie. And because I felt all alone, I sought comfort from people who only wanted one thing, and I let them use me. Am I proud of it? No, but at least they held me when I wanted to be held, they gave me the affection I craved." She didn't look at his face, she didn't want to see the look on his face as she described what she had been put herself through. "And then, I found out I was pregnant." She glanced toward the door, hot tears finally bursting from her eyes. "And she's perfect, but I was all alone. I don't know who her father is, so I got no help from him, and no help from you, and I just felt stupid! Stupid for getting pregnant before I should have, for not using protection, for screwing up my life before it even began! And all I wanted was for someone who cared about me to tell me that I wasn't stupid, and that everyone makes mistakes, and that I will get through this, but I had no one, Dad. No one." Because nine months of telling herself she was stupid made it really hard to believe it when someone said otherwise. She sat on her couch now, crying into her hand.

He sat next to her and hugged her. As much as she wanted to pull away, she didn't, because as angry as she was, she had really missed her Dad. She cried on his shoulder. "Katie, you are not stupid. Look at all you have done on your own. You are incredible, Katie, and I'm so sorry that I made you feel this way." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry that I was so cruel, sorry that I ever made you feel unwanted."

"You know we can't get that time back." She said finally, pulling away from his shoulder.

He nodded. "I know." He brushed hair behind her ear that had stuck to her face. "But I want to be in your life from here on out." He pointed toward the closed door. "Anytime I wanted to drink, I would think of that little girl. I knew I couldn't be in her life if I was drunk." He grinned at her. "But Katie, I'm a grandpa. That's exciting! And she is beautiful, just like her Mom, and just like her grandma, and I really want to be a part of your lives. If you'll let me, of course."

Six months was a long time. Somehow he made it through January without a drink, and that was amazing. He had really come a long way. But she was still nervous. It wasn't just her that she had to worry about anymore. "You can come by next Wednesday, during the day. I'll be here, you can play with her while I study. We'll see where it goes from there." She offered.

He nodded and flashed a small, nervous smile. "I'll be here at noon.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I keep lying to you all. I have no idea how long this fic will be, but I hope you all enjoy the ride. My promise to you is that I will do my best to update every Wednesday, because I have school and work and committee meetings, so I am pretty busy, but I will do my absolute best to keep updating. And feel free to message me if I haven't. Also, I love reading all your reviews, so keep them coming because they make me so happy!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: It's technically Wednesday! I was writing and decided I had to stop here, or else this chapter would have gone on for another 3,000 words! Next update will be next Wednesday, most likely. I hope everyone is having a good week, and I hope you enjoy this next little bit! Also, if anyone wants to bug me, I'm open to it! You can private message me here, or talk to me on tumblr (soprano193) because I'm a friendly person and I love hearing from you all!

* * *

><p>Kate pulled up to Rick's apartment building with a screaming baby in the backseat. She parked her car and took a deep breath, her head in her hands, calming herself down. If Carrie sensed her tension, then she would never stop crying. Kate got out of the car, and unsnapped Carrie, lifting her and wiping her tears. "I know, tired girl. Come on, let's go see Rick and Alexis!" Kate spoke in a cheery voice, trying to lift her daughter's spirits. It may have worked, her cries quieting to a whimper, but Kate worried it wouldn't last.<p>

Walking through the doors of the apartment complex proved Kate's theory to be fact. Carrie erupted again, her face turning red, and dark circles appearing under her eyes. Kate rocked her body slowly back and forth, shushing and whispering to her very upset daughter. "I know you're tired, bean."

"No." She cried back, burying her head in her mom's shoulder, her curls plastered to her face.

Kate stepped out of the elevator, bouncing in her steps slightly as she walked. "Bean, you have to cheer up, we get to spend a whole two days with Alexis! It will be fun!"

"Uh ay." Carrie whimpered, rubbing at her eyes.

"Okay." Kate repeated her, knocking on Rick's door. He answered with a smile, which slowly dropped as he saw the look on Carrie's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, inviting them in.

Kate held Carrie out to him. "She's upset because I woke her up from her nap. Work your weird baby-magic and make her fall back asleep while I unload my car."

He took Carrie and rocked with her. "Why did you wake her up from her nap?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "I wanted to make sure that I got here in time to let you catch your flight. Your career is a tad bit more important that my daughter's nap." Carrie would fall back asleep, maybe go to sleep early, but Kate Beckett would not be the reason that Rick was late for any sort of promotion. "So, I'm going to grab my stuff, you stay here with her." And with that, she left, running down to her car for trip number one. She gathered two bags and a piece of the dismantled high chair and carried them upstairs. She wasn't really surprised to see that Carrie's eyes were already drooping from being with Rick for the three minutes it took her to gather half of her stuff. She pointed at her daughter. "You're going to have to show me how you do that."

He flashed her his smug grin. "I'm the baby whisperer, what do you want me to say?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Shut up." She listened to him chuckle behind her as she ran down to get the rest of the dismantled high chair. When she entered the loft again, Carrie's eyes were closed, and she was curled against Rick's chest. Rick looked at her as he rocked, a smug grin stretching across his face again. "Show off." Kate muttered under her breath, moving toward the pack and play that was set up in his office. She set the blanket in there that Carrie slept on in her crib, and indicated that he should lay her down.

He shook his head and snuggled her closer, gently kissing her curls. He tip-toed and lowered her in, and they both left, shutting the door softly behind them. He turned to her, his blue eyes locking with hers. "I'm going to miss two things for the next two days. Snuggles with Alexis and snuggles with Carrie. I'm going to miss my girls."

Kate chuckled. "Since when did my daughter become your girl?" She teased.

"The first day she fell asleep in my arms, of course." He answered, the seriousness of his words etched into his face.

Kate smiled slightly at the memory, remembering how alone and stressed out she had been, how mortifying it was to have some stranger appear and take pity on her, and her fear when he offered to take her. She never told him that she didn't trust him at first, and stood directly on the other side of the door for a bit, listening to him talk to her baby. Now he was the only person she trusted with Carrie, other than the daycare she went to, but even then she preferred Rick. It was strange, because she felt like she saw the future when Carrie was nestled in his arms. She knew that Carrie was as much his girl as she was hers. "Hard to believe that was nine months ago." She looked around the alarmingly quiet loft. "Where is your other girl?"

He pointed to the floor above him. "Upstairs, drawing me a picture for my trip. She likes to send me off on book promotions with something so I won't forget her."

Kate smiled. "That is adorable."

Rick shrugged. "Yeah, I keep it at the table with me while I sign books. Gina doesn't like it, something about how it destroys the playboy image she is trying to create, but I can't seem to give the picture up."

Kate rolled her eyes and began unpacking some of her things. The playboy image was something that he seemed to have no trouble portraying. She hated it, mostly because it was not the person that he was in real life. She didn't understand the idea of being someone completely different in public than you were in person. She didn't understand how "ruggedly handsome doting father" didn't sell as many books as "ruggedly handsome playboy philanthropist". Truthfully, she found the first one way more attractive.

Kate heard the patter of Alexis' feet before she saw the redhead. She came barreling down the stairs, launching herself at her father. "I was afraid you left already!" She said to him as she clutched on to his neck, Rick rocking her back and forth.

He kissed her head softly. "I'd never leave without saying goodbye to you, pumpkin."

She smiled at him, holding out the picture. "It's a picture of you and me outside our house!" Kate found it interesting that Alexis had drawn herself with curly hair. She was holding hands with her father in front of a big brick building.

Kate moved to set up the high chair while they said their goodbyes, hearing her mother's voice in her head reminding her not to eavesdrop. She was almost done with it when she felt little arms around her. "Kate, is Carrie still sleeping?"

Kate wrapped her arms around the six-year-old in return. "Yes. She'll let us know when she is awake. How are you doing, Lex?"

She sighed, releasing Kate and looking down. "I'm sad my Dad is leaving."

Kate ran her fingers through her soft red hair, and looked the young girl directly in her bright blue eyes. "Yeah, that can be sad. But, I have some fun things for us to do, and he'll be home before you know it, okay?"

Alexis grinned nervously. "Okay." She looked over toward the office, where Carrie was sleeping. "I'm going to sit on the couch in the living room so I can hear if Carrie is awake."

Kate bit back a laugh. "Okay." She responded, rubbing the girl's arm as she ran off. She watched Alexis for a minute before she turned back to the high chair in front of her.

"You know, that's why I wanted you to stay with her." Rick's voice startled her, and she dropped her tools. Stood to face him as he talked. "You're just so comfortable with her, you know?"

She nodded. "You guys are like family. I love that little girl." She wanted to go further with that statement, but stopped herself.

"Well, she loves you." He answered quickly before flashing her his boyish grin. He pointed to all her stuff. "Moving in?"

She rolled her eyes. "Ha-ha, very funny."

"No, but seriously, you had to take two trips. How did you get it all into your car?"

"My dad helped." She answered with a shrug. "I stayed in the apartment with Carrie, he brought it all down."

"How's that going?" He asked, concern reflected in his blue eyes.

She shrugged again. "As good as it can be." She didn't trust him alone with Carrie yet, but he had provided her with some valuable study time while he kept the baby busy. "He wants to meet you. I think he might join us for dinner on the next Wednesday we're at my place." She glanced at the clock and her eyes grew wide. "Rick, you need to leave or you'll miss your flight!"

He jumped into action at that point, rushing to his suitcase that he had left by the table. "Right! Where would I be without you?" She shook her head and rolled her eyes at him. He ignored her, and called out to Alexis. "Goodbye, pumpkin. I love you! Make sure you behave for Kate."

"I will." She responded quietly, facing away from the office door so she wouldn't wake Carrie. Kate found herself thinking that the six-year-old was showing remarkable restraint.

He rushed toward the door, grabbing Kate for a quick hug before he left. "Thanks again." He whispered.

She rubbed his back as he hugged her. "Anytime!" She wiggled free from his grasp and pushed him away. "Now go! Alexis, Carrie and I want our girl time, no boys allowed."

Now he rolled his eyes. "Great. I'm going now. Bye."

"Goodbye." She chuckled, closing the door behind him. She turned toward Alexis and held up her arms in triumph. "He's gone, party time!"

Alexis giggled at her, hopping up and dancing to music in her head. She looked up suddenly. "Kate, are we really going to have a party?" The seriousness that was etched into her face almost made Kate laugh.

"If we have a party, it will just be you, me, and bean, sound good?"

Alexis breathed a sigh of relief. "Good." Kate laughed at the responsible young girl. "As long as it's just us, that's fine! What are we going to do?" Alexis watched Kate intently while she finished setting up the high chair.

"Well, for tonight, I need to make you two dinner when Carrie wakes up. After that, I have something special planned. And I brought some costumes of Carrie's so you two can put on a wacky fashion show." Alexis hopped up and down at that. "I thought we could take pictures and show them to your dad when he gets home."

Alexis grinned. "He'll love it!"

Kate laughed. "Oh, I hope so!" She finished the chair and stood in triumph. "Good, that's all set!" She grinned down at Alexis. "Do you want to pick out a movie to watch until Carrie wakes up from her nap?"

"Yeah!" She jumped up and ran over to the case which housed all her movies. She pulled out Lady and the Tramp, and handed it to Kate.

"Good choice. This is one of my favorites." Kate told her, putting the movie in the VCR player, happy to find it had already been rewound, and hit play. After an hour without a peep from Carrie, Kate got up and opened the office door, and then walked back to sit on the couch.

"Kate!" Alexis whispered, her eyes wide. "You're going to wake up Carrie!"

Kate chuckled. "I know, but I don't want her to sleep much longer, or else she won't want to go to sleep tonight."

Alexis nodded. "Can I go in and wake her up?"

"No." Kate shook her head. "This way, she kind of hears the sounds we are making out here and wakes herself up. I don't want to startle her awake because then she just gets mad and yells." Alexis looked disappointed, so Kate grabbed her and hugged her close. "But, when she wakes up, she will be so excited to see you, and you guys can play all night tonight and all day tomorrow, I promise."

The girl perked up at that. "Okay!" They focused on the movie again, and it was about ten minutes later when Kate heard the little voice in the other room.

"Mumma?" The confused voice asked. "Mumma!"

Kate tapped on Alexis' shoulder. "I'm being summoned. I'll be right back." She made her way into the office, where Carrie was standing at the bar of the pack and play.

"Mumma!" She cheered as Kate got close, holding onto the bar and bouncing a bit where she stood.

"Hello Carrie Jo! Did you have a nice nap?" Kate crooned to her, lifting her up and placing a kiss on her cheek. Her daughter chattered to her as Kate changed her wet diaper and picked her up again, heading towards the living room. "Someone has been very eager to see you, bean!" Alexis was bouncing on her knees on the couch, waiting to see Carrie. Kate waved over at her, and spoke to her daughter. "Can you say 'hi' to Alexis?"

Carrie grinned and waved. "Hi."

Alexis' blue eyes shone. "She said 'hi' to me!" she squealed.

Kate laughed. "It's not the first time!" She sat Carrie in a fold-up seat she had bought, strapped her in and faced her toward the television. "I'm going to make dinner. You can talk to her, but please don't try to take her out of her seat." Kate explained, and Alexis nodded, rushing over to talk to her smallest friend.

Kate laughed. At home, she would just place Carrie in her swing while she cooked, it was nice for her to have someone to keep her occupied while she sat. Kate moved around the kitchen somewhat awkwardly, finding where the pans and bowls were. She pulled out a saucepan and boiled water, and found the boxes of mac and cheese exactly where Rick said she would find them. It didn't take long, and soon both girls were eating dinner with her.

Well, Alexis was eating. Carrie kept putting the noodles on her head one at a time. "What are you doing, crazy girl?" Kate asked her, playing up her confusion to get a giggle from the infant.

Alexis was watching the exchange with laughter. "Carrie, you're silly!" She looked at Kate. "I love Carrie."

Kate grinned. "And Carrie loves you." She faced her daughter again. "Can you say, 'Lexi, love you!'" Kate singsonged

Carrie smiled. "Ee ooh!" She paroted quickly, and Alexis squealed with delight.

Kate grinned. "That's right, bean! Love you!"

"Ee ooh!"

Alexis fidgeted in her seat, and squealed again. "She loves me, Kate! She loves me!" She stopped, contemplating for a minute before looking at Kate again. "Do you love me?"

Kate felt her heart melting at the question. "Of course I love you, Alexis." She answered warmly.

Alexis looked down. "My Mom doesn't."

"That's not true!" Kate answered quickly, grabbing the girl's hand.

The redhead nodded enthusiastically. "It is. She didn't even come to my birthday. You came to my birthday!"

"Your Mom was busy. But I'm sure she was thinking about you all day." Kate didn't understand it. She didn't get how a woman could have a child and practically abandon her. And yes, she knew Meredith loved Alexis, she knew she cared and she worried, but she also knew Meredith didn't have the first clue about how to be an effective parent. And how do you explain that to a six-year-old? "Didn't she call you?" Alexis didn't speak, just nodded in response. "See, she was thinking about you! I bet she tried her hardest to get away."

Alexis shrugged. "I guess."

Kate grabbed her hand again. "Honey, I have never met your Mom. But I have met you. And there is no way in the world that your Mom wouldn't love you."

Alexis looked up, a small smile on her face. "Thanks." She whispered.

Kate nodded. "Anytime." They finished their meal without much chatter, and Alexis helped Kate clear the table.

Kate stood in the kitchen, Carrie playing with a pan by her feet, and called Alexis over. "How would you like to make cookies with me tonight?"

Alexis' eyes grew as big as saucers. "Really?" She asked, bouncing on her toes.

Kate laughed. "Yes, really. I have my Mom's super-secret recipe for the best chocolate chip cookies you've ever tasted, and I thought we would make them together."

Alexis squealed some more and stomped her feet. Kate laughed at her, and tasked her with finding all the kitchen tools they would need while she measured out specifics into bowls and small cups. While Alexis raced around and Kate measured, Carrie patted her mother's leg. "Tur!"

Kate grinned. "You want to stir, Carrie Jo?"

"Tur! Mumma tur!" Carrie babbled, pointing to the spoon that Alexis had laid on the counter.

Kate turned to the redhead. "Could you get a small bowl, fill it with a little bit of water, and give it to Carrie with a spoon, please?"

Alexis was happy to oblige, placing it all in front of Carrie, who stirred her water with enthusiasm. There was a little more water in the bowl than Kate would have liked, but she ignored that thought, watching her little one soak herself with water.

Alexis pulled a chair up to the island and stood on it, Kate standing behind her to make sure she wouldn't fall. "Okay, put the dry ingredients in first, then we'll mix the wet ones in and make the dough nice and smooth." Alexis followed her instructions perfectly, a pro in the kitchen at such a young age.

"Do you love my Dad?" The question startled Kate, as it had been quiet while Alexis concentrated on mixing the dough.

"Um, that's a little more complicated, I think." Kate stammered. "I mean, I care about your Dad a lot. He is my best friend, and I trust him more than pretty much anyone."

"But you don't love him." She completed.

"No." Kate started. She was suddenly uncomfortable, not really sure how to answer this one. It wasn't cut and dry. And she never thought that questions from a six-year-old would make her think so hard. "Yes." She corrected herself. "I love your Dad like a friend. I don't know what I would do without him in my life. Does that make sense?"

Alexis was quiet for a minute before she nodded. "Okay." And just like that, she was quiet again. But Kate's thoughts were anything but quiet. She knew she had feelings for Rick, she knew that the first time he called her beautiful. She knew it each time he invited her into his home and life. She knew it the only time he had babysat, how she loved twirling herself around to watch his reaction to her in that skin tight dress. And she knew it when she watched him interact with his daughter or hers, the way his eyes lit up around them. But she couldn't bring herself to take that leap. He was some brilliant millionaire with a heart of gold and the gift of storytelling, and she was just Kate, single mother of one with baggage that scared any decent human being away. And God forbid they did take a leap and it crashed and burned, it wouldn't just be the two of them that would have to heal from the fallout. No, it was safer to just be friends, and to never fall in love with Richard Castle.

They spaced the cookies out on the sheet, and Kate placed it in the oven, setting the timer and turning on the light so Alexis could watch them bake. "What do we do now?" Alexis asked, looking up at her.

"We wait."


	6. Chapter 6

"Ready?" The voice at the top of the stairs called out.

"Almost!" Kate called back, adjusting the paper towel runway once again, and helping Carrie stand at the end of it. "Okay, we are ready!"

Alexis bounded down the stairs, wearing a black shirt and a long pink poodle skirt. She had put on white socks and some shiny black Mary Jane's. She had attempted to pull her hair back into a half ponytail, and Kate groaned internally because she knew that meant she would have to try and brush out the knots. Alexis squealed when she saw Carrie standing at the end of the runway. "She's an elephant!"

Kate laughed. "Yeah! Now strut your stuff, Lex!"

Alexis did just that, walking along the runway with as much sass as she could muster in her little body, and Kate snapped pictures of her along the way. This was round three, and Alexis had the model walk down. When she got to the end, she posed, and knelt down, flinging an arm around Carrie and grinning at the camera. Carrie was pulling on the elephant's trunk that was coming out of her forehead, trying to yank the hood off of her head. "Carrie, look at Mumma!" Kate tried to get her attention before she succeeded. Her hand stayed on the trunk, but she looked at Kate with her wide brown eyes and grinned, and Kate snapped the picture of both the girls quickly before Alexis started her retreat.

Kate glanced at the clock on the wall. "Alexis!" she called, and the girl spun on the stairs to look at her. "We have time for maybe two more outfits, then it's bath time, and then bed."

Alexis saluted. "Aye aye, captain!" She spun again, and raced up the stairs.

Kate chuckled at her, and turned back to Carrie, who had sat, and had succeeded in pulling off her hood, her wild curls sticking up from all the static electricity. Kate looked at the costumes she had laying out in front of her. She had picked them up for this purpose, knowing how much fun she used to have doing fashion shows, both as a kid and again as a teenager. "What next, Carrie Jo?" she asked the baby.

Carrie pointed to a black one. "Kitty."

"You already wore the kitty, honey. What about the buzzy bee?" Kate reasoned with her toddler.

"No! Kittykittykittykittykittykitty!" She leaned forward and reached for the costume.

Kate shook her head. She knew she could dress Carrie in whatever she wanted to, but also knew her stubborn daughter would pitch a fit if she was put in any other costume than the kitty. "Where did you even learn that word? We don't even own a cat." Kate mused aloud, astounded at the amount of words her daughter had picked up. The pediatrician said she was quite articulate for a ten-month-old, and though some words needed translating, she had quite a few under her belt. She had Carrie changed in record time, once again dressed as a black cat, and couldn't resist snapping a picture of her grinning face.

"Ready?" Kate heard Alexis call again.

She smiled. "Yep, we're ready!"

This time, Alexis was dressed in a brown pirate costume, complete with black boots and a sword. "Argh!" she yelled at the end of the runway, making the meanest face she could, which unfortunately wasn't really that mean, as her features just scrunched in an adorable manner. She pretended to limp down the runway. She held the sword out in front of her. "Walk the plank you scallywags!" She shouted, and Kate snapped some pictures. She put down her sword, and dropped the tough girl act momentarily. "Should I take some nice ones too?"

Kate shrugged. "That's completely up to you."

Alexis thought, and then bobbed her head up and down. "Yeah, I think I should." She glanced down at Carrie and laughed. "A kitty again, Carrie?"

Carrie smiled, hearing a word she recognized. She lifted her arms. "Kitty!"

Alexis grinned, and grabbed the infant's hands, gently pulling her to a standing position. Kate continued taking pictures along the way, and Alexis again threw her arm around Carrie, grinning at the camera. She let go, and started walking back up the runway, and toward the stairs. "One more, right?" she called over her shoulder.

Kate nodded. "Right. One more." Alexis bolted up the stairs again, and Kate reached for the pink fuzzy costume. "Okay, Carrie Jo. One more, okay?"

Carrie had already yanked the hood off her head again, and didn't protest when Kate pulled the zipper down her back. Kate changed her quickly, they were pros by now. The costume was adorable, and Kate's favorite of the night. It was pink and fuzzy, with curly pink hair, big white eyes, and yellow horns on the hood that covered Carrie's curls. The hood was like the mouth, with four little teeth lined up on Carrie's forehead. A yellow bow was nestled below her chin, and the feet were big and yellow. Kate worried Carrie might have trouble standing in it, as the feet were cushioned, and Carrie wasn't quite so steady on her feet yet.

"Kate?" She heard the voice at the top of the stairs again.

"Yes, we are ready for you." She called back.

"No! I mean, I'm ready but that wasn't what I was going to ask." Alexis yelled back.

Kate was quiet for a moment, but when Alexis didn't offer up her original question, Kate spoke. "What is it?"

"Do you have any costumes?"

Kate's mind flashed quickly to her Nebula 9 outfit that was hanging in her closet. It didn't matter that Alexis was young, she didn't need that information getting out anywhere, and somehow she knew that if Rick found out, he'd never let her live it down. "No, honey, they're all too small for me." She answered. She heard feet running away from the landing after she answered, and looked at Carrie. She shrugged. "What is that crazy girl doing?" She asked, Carrie smiling back at her. It wasn't long before she heard Alexis running back down the stairs. She was dressed in a blue and brown cowgirl outfit, complete with brown cowgirl boots, and a cow hide vest. She skipped the runway, and walked toward Kate, her hands behind her back.

"I brought you something!" She grinned, and revealed what she was hiding, a pair of fairy wings with elastics to wrap around her arms, and a plastic silver tiara with a big pink gem in the center of it. She held them out to Kate. "You need to walk the runway, Kate."

Kate couldn't help but grin at the girl, who felt the need to include her, no matter what. "Are you sure these wings will fit around my arms?" She asked, placing the tiara on her head.

Alexis bobbed her head up and down with enthusiasm. "Yeah! They fit my Dad!"

Kate stifled her laughter as she tried them on, imagining Rick in the pink and blue fairy wings, going on adventures with his daughter. Okay, it was actually kind of hot. Sure enough, they fit perfectly. She stood up and twirled slowly. "How do I look?" she asked with a smile.

Alexis bounced with excitement. "Perfect!" She pointed at the paper towel runway. "Strut your stuff, Kate!" She parroted Kate's words from earlier.

Kate stood, and handed the camera to Alexis. "You're the photographer, take pictures, okay?" She instructed, before scooping up Carrie who squealed with delight. She walked to the end of the runway, jutting out her hip, and putting on her model face, one she hadn't used in quite some time. She walked with attitude down the runway, bouncing Carrie along. Carrie laughed, and Kate couldn't hold her face that way for long, and laughed along with her daughter. At the end of the runway, she posed, holding Carrie on her hip with one hand and placing her other on her hip. Alexis snapped pictures from every angle possible as she jumped about, and Kate found herself wondering how many of those would actually be usable. She grinned and set Carrie down, holding her hand out for the camera. "Your turn. Show me what you got."

Alexis ran to the back and did her best to copy Kate. She swung her hips a bit more than previous walks, and Kate couldn't contain her giggles as she watched the girl try to mimic her. She posed at the end, her hands on her hips, and Kate snapped a few more pictures. "One more. Come here." She sat on the ground, putting Carrie in her lap, and had Alexis sit in front of them. "Squeeze in close!" She cried, turning the camera around on them. She snapped a picture that she hoped would show all of their faces.

"Can I see?" Alexis asked, reaching for the camera and turning it so she could see the screen. Kate hit a few buttons, pulling up the picture. It had actually come out nice, for once, as it usually took her a few tries. "Perfect!" Alexis cried, jumping up.

Katetuned the camera off before putting it down. "Okay. Bath time and then bed." Alexis nodded, and started running toward her father's room. "Hold on!" Kate called out to her before she got too far away. Alexis turned to look at her.

Kate pointed down. "First, can you help me pick up the runway? And then bring your costumes back upstairs?" She requested, taking off the wings and holding them out to the redhead.

"Oh yeah." Alexis took them from Kate, and picked the paper towels up off the floor.

Kate moved toward the kitchen. "Before you disappear, the cookies are cool! Do you want one."

Alexis looked at Kate in horror. "Kate, I can't have a cookie now! It's too close to bedtime!"

Kate had to hold back her laughter. Where in the world did this girl come from? "Just one cookie, Lex. It's okay!"

Alexis shook her head fervently. "No! I'll never go to sleep!"

Kate shrugged and popped one into her mouth. "Your loss." She teased, hoping to entice the girl.

Alexis sighed. "Not fair. I'll eat a bunch tomorrow, deal?"

Kate chuckled, but nodded at the girl anyway. "Deal. Now take that stuff upstairs, and I'll get the bath ready. Do you use the tub in Dad's bathroom down here?"

Alexis nodded. "Yeah. All my toys are down here." She ran up the stairs. "Be right back!" She yelled over her shoulder.

Kate laughed and picked up Carrie, heading to the master bath. "Let's go have a tubby, Bean." She murmured to the infant, who rubbed her eyes. Thank God she was getting tired.

When Kate turned on the light in the bathroom, she jumped when she saw a figure standing near the tub. "Holy shhhhhhh…" She didn't finish that, as she had no idea where Alexis was, and that was one thing she did not want the girl repeating. She realized, when her heart slowed down, that it was a life size statue of Boba Fett. "Why? Why would he have this? In his bathroom of all places. Silly." She laughed nervously, talking to Carrie. "Alright, Bean. Tubby time!"

Alexis appeared when Carrie was already in the tub with two towels in her hand. "Dad sometimes forgets to put towels away down here, so I brought some just in case." She put them on the closed toilet seat, and shed her clothes, hopping into the bubble bath along with Carrie. They splashed each other, and Alexis squirted Carrie (and Kate) with a plastic Flounder toy, yelling, "Don't be such a guppy," every time they squealed.

Kate washed Carrie's hair with patience, gently wiping away the water from her eyes with the corner of a dry towel. It was her daughter's least favorite part of the bath. She noticed that Alexis also watched Kate's hand with trepidation, shying away slightly when Kate moved it toward her. "Alexis, you have to get the soap out of your hair." She told the redhead firmly.

"I know. But, I'll do it myself. I don't want to get soap in my eyes." She crossed her arms and retreated to the corner of the tub.

"I won't get water in your eyes, I promise." Kate beckoned the girl closer. "I have a trick, my mom used to do it with me. Carrie is just a little too young."

Alexis eyed the older woman, somewhat intrigued, but still not moving any closer. "What's the trick?"

Kate smiled. "Just come here." Alexis moved slowly to the edge of the tub. "Now turn so your back is facing me." Alexis shook her head and crossed her arms, refusing to move. Kate sighed. "Alexis, I promise, I won't get any soap in your eyes. And if I do, I'll let you dump a whole cup of water on my head. Deal?"

At that, the girl flashed a wolfish grin. "Okay." She turned easily, her back facing Kate.

Kate put water in the cup. "Now, I want you to pretend you're a wolf, and howl at the moon. Can you do that?" She saw the head in front of her bob, and soon, Alexis tilted her head back, and howled at an imaginary moon. Kate seized the opportunity to dump the cup of water on the girl's head, directing the water back towards her with her hand. "Perfect! Do it again!"

Alexis howled again, and Kate rinsed out more soap, laughing the whole time at her own daughter's expression. Carrie's eyes were wide, and her mouth was in the perfet 'o' shape as she watched the older girl howl. She flickered back and forth between her mother and Alexis. "Oooooooooh." She parroted, and Alexis laughed.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Kate asked, dropping the cup back into the water.

Alexis turned around to face her. "That's it? I'm all done?"

Kate nodded. "Yep. All the soap is gone, and none got in your eyes. I told you, it's a really good trick!"

Alexis nodded enthusiastically. "Your Mom is a genius!" She grinned, and Kate smiled back at her. The girl wasn't wrong, her Mom had been pretty smart. Kate still looked up to her, even now that she was gone.

They didn't play in the tub much longer. Carrie was yawning, and Kate knew it was close to bedtime. She drained the water, instructing Alexis to get dressed. She then dried off Carrie, gave her a fresh diaper, and changed her into some warm Minnie Mouse pajamas. She then swayed with her in the dark office until she was almost asleep, and placed her gently in the pack and play. Carrie immediately rolled over and fell asleep.

Kate tiptoed out of the room and up the stairs to Alexis' room. The girl was arranging her stuffed animals on her bed, clutching on to a stuffed monkey. "Almost ready?" Kate asked her, picking up a comb and sitting on the bed.

Alexis shrugged and turned around. "I guess." She allowed Kate to comb the snarls from her hair. "Kate? Can we do this again sometime?"

"Of course we can, Pumpkin." Kate answered, easily picking up her father's pet name for her. "We'll pick a night, and you can come over to my house and have a girl's night. I'll talk to your Dad."

Alexis turned around and hugged Kate, wrapping her arms around the young woman's neck. "Thank you!"

Kate reciprocated the hug, patting Alexis' back. "Of course. I know he'll be okay with it." Kate stood, pulling back the covers, allowing Alexis to climb in. She hugged the stuffed monkey close, and Kate tucked the blankets around her. She leaned down and kissed the girl's head. "Goodnight, Alexis."

"Goodnight Kate. Love you."

Kate's heart swelled a bit at that. "Love you too." She left the door cracked, and headed back downstairs, relieved to hear that Carrie had not woken up. She was about to set herself up on the couch when the phone rang. She ran and picked it up, hoping it wouldn't wake her light sleeper. "Castle residence, Rick is unavailable, may I take a message?"

"Kate?" His voice came through on the other end, and she couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, Rick. How was your flight?"

"Long. I got rerouted."

"That sucks." She answered him, leaning against his counter.

"Yeah. Well, I just got in safe, and wanted to tell Alexis goodnight."

She inhaled sharply. "I just tucked her in. I could go give her the phone if you'd like?" she offered.

"No, no. Don't do that, let her sleep." She breathed out a sigh of relief. "You got her in bed this early?"

Kate grinned. "Yeah, they're both asleep. I was just about to set myself up on the couch, actually."

"Why?"

She paused before answering, unsure of what he was asking. "I mean, I know I said I'd watch her, Rick, but I kind of need to sleep too. Unless you want me to watch her sleep." She quipped at him.

"No, I mean, why the couch? I set up the pack and play in the office because it shares a door with my room. That way, you can get to her if you need to, and you can be comfortable in a really nice bed. And Kate, my bed is really, _really_ nice."

She felt the blood creeping into her face, and thanked her lucky stars that he wasn't around to see. "Alright, fine. I'll take the bed." She slowly moved her stuff off the couch, slipping into his bedroom. "Oh, by the way, why the hell do you have a life size Boba Fett in your bathroom? I jumped so high I nearly dropped Carrie!" She heard him laughing on the other end of the phone. "Seriously, I thought there was an intruder, I was ready to bolt. You should warn a girl!"

"I'm sorry." He laughed. "I'll keep that in mind for next time."

She sunk down into his bed while he laughed. He wasn't lying, it was really nice. "Rick, what kind of favors did you have to do to get this bed from the Gods?" She teased as she stretched out on it. It must have had feather everything. It was like laying on a cloud.

He chuckled. "I told you, it was nice." She groaned in response and rolled onto her stomach. "So, did you ladies have fun today?"

Kate laughed. "We did. Alexis wants to do it again."

"I'm sure that can be arranged. She likes you, you know."

Kate smiled, remembering the quiet voice of the redhead as she left her room. _Love you._ "I know. We put on a fashion show today, I can email you pictures tomorrow."

"Sounds like fun."

"It was." A devilish grin stretched across her face. "She let me wear your fairy wings."

"I don't know what she's talking about." He deadpanned, while Kate laughed at him through her nose.

"Oh, and how did you get such a responsible daughter? She was horrified when I suggested a party, and turned down a homemade chocolate chip cookie."

"Was it too close to bedtime?"

She laughed some more. "Yeah, actually, it was."

"She does that, and so far I haven't been able to entice her."

Kate yawned, stretching her arms above her. "Speaking of bedtime, I'm exhausted."

"I'll let you sleep. Goodnight, Kate. And thanks again."

She grinned. "Goodnight Rick. Stay safe."

* * *

><p>AN: Don't worry! I know exactly how they will get together! Also, Kate knows Rick has feelings for her, after that almost kiss. And he is pretty much the only one she trusts with her daughter. I don't think she would ever use a night of free babysitting to go out with another man, and if she did, she would feel terrible for it. Just because a few people have been concerned...


	7. Chapter 7

Kate woke the next morning and cooked the girls chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, moving around the kitchen with a practiced ease after learning where everything was the night before. She then took them to Central Park, where Alexis rode the carousel for what seemed like hours while Kate and Carrie just waved at her. They had tried the carousel once, but Carrie screamed, not enjoying the ride one bit. Kate didn't want to deny Alexis her fun, so they had resorted to waving and cheering at her each time that she passed.

They continued to walk through the park, Alexis chattering about anything and everything. Kate learned that her favorite Disney princess was Aurora, and that she made up her own language known as 'Alexis-ish'. Alexis pointed at different things in the park and told Kate their made up word, and it was all Kate could do not to crack up at her. She hoped that Carrie would develop an imagination like hers, and longed for the days when she was as carefree as the redhead.

Back at the loft, Kate put Carrie down for a nap, while she and Alexis ate plenty of cookies and had a tea party, complete with all of Alexis' stuffed animals. Here, she met Monkey Bunky, Alexis' most treasured toy. Kate told her about her stuffed bear at home that she's had since she was young.

When Carrie woke, Kate cooked dinner, and they settled in to watch a movie, Aladdin. Alexis brandished a fake sword and fought along with the lawmakers in the beginning, which had Carrie in stitches. After the movie, they had a bath, where Alexis howled at the moon, a lot. After that, she read a few books to her sleepy daughter and put her down, and read some goodnight stories to Alexis, before crawling into bed herself. The last thing she remembered thinking was that she had a new appreciation for single parents with multiple kids, because she was exhausted. She didn't get the chance to think of anything else before sleep overtook her.

She awoke to the sound of the front door closing. She thought she misheard it at first, and sat in Rick's bed, listening carefully, trying to clear the cobwebs from her mind. When she heard dishes rattling though, she became nervous, her heart beating fast and the hairs on her arms standing at attention. The phone was out there, with the intruder, and she had no way to call for help. She glanced around in the dark for something, anything that could be seen as a weapon. She almost praised the Gods when she found the red baseball bat leaning against the wall. Meanwhile, she could hear the rustling around out in Rick's living room. She formulated a plan, to knock out the intruder, call 911, grab her daughter, rouse Alexis, and escape, hitting the intruder again if she needed to. She opened the door slowly, so she wouldn't warn whoever it was that was out there.

Her heart was beating loud. She knew it was impossible for anyone else to hear, but it sounded deafening in her head. The sound of clanking silverware and soft footsteps greeted her from the kitchen. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before creeping forward, gripping the bat and holding it above her head. She mapped out the fastest trip, both to Carrie and Alexis, and crept around the corner.

She didn't see anyone in the kitchen. She let out a breath, making sure to keep oxygen flowing to her brain, and slowly lowered the bat. Suddenly, she heard the bang of a pot, and a man popped up from behind the breakfast bar. She lunged forward.

"Kate!" He flinched back, and she recognized him immediately. She dropped the bat.

"Rick! What the hell?" She fought to keep her voice down.

"It's my house!" He pointed out, and she felt somewhat foolish for flipping out.

Only somewhat foolish. "I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow, I thought you were an intruder!" She seethed. For a minute she had been terrified that their lives were in danger.

He pointed to a clock on the wall behind him. "Technically it is tomorrow. Or, it's today? Today is tomorrow?" He looked past her, frustrated, and she stifled a chuckle as he figured out a more technical way to say that. She was still angry at him, and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a smile. "It's after midnight." He said, finally deciding on the proper way to say what he was trying to express.

She glanced at the clock and scoffed. "Rick, it's almost three in the morning! What are you doing here?"

"I'd like to point out again that I live here." She rolled her eyes at that and leaned the bat against a wall in the kitchen. He started to make himself a grilled cheese, and flicked his eyes between her and the pan. "Want one?"

"Sure." She sat at one of the stools at the island, watching him begin preparing another one.

"Just cheese, or something else?" He asked without turning around.

"Well, at home I make mine with a slice of ham and a tomato, but I'm fine with just cheese."

He moved to the fridge, pulling out a tomato and a bag of cold cuts, and back to the stove. "I got an early flight back, thought I would surprise Alexis in the morning with breakfast."

She smiled. The young girl would be ecstatic. "That sounds nice. A phone call would have been nice though. 'Hey Kate, I'll be home around 3 am, don't be alarmed if you hear me walk in. See you soon!'" She teased him, leaning forward on her elbows and placing her head in her hands.

"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry I scared you, I'll keep it in mind for next time." He turned, his blue eyes meeting hers, a genuine smile on his face.

"Next time? How do you know you didn't just ruin your chances?" She teased, a crooked grin on her face.

"Because, I know you girls had fun, and you wouldn't punish me like that."

She scoffed. "Oh yeah? How would I punish you then?" She asked with a laugh.

He put his elbows on the other side of the breakfast bar, and mirrored her position. "Hmmmm, maybe you'd cook me something really bad for dinner on Wednesday."

She shook her head with a grin. "I have to eat that too."

"True." He nodded slightly. "You could hide Carrie in her room when I came to visit, refuse to let me see her."

"Who am I supposed to be punishing, exactly?" She responded with a laugh.

"I didn't think of that. That punishes Carrie and you." He mused, his eyes twinkling. "You could deny me some of those cookies you told me about."

She sat back in her seat, a laugh in her throat. "That's more like it. Those cookies are the best in the world, and I saved you some. I'll just give them all to Alexis!"

He moved back to the grilled cheeses, flipping them. "Joke's on you, she shares things with me."

Kate chuckled. "Not those cookies. I had to hide them to get her to stop eating them all. Strangely, she still wouldn't take one before bed."

He put her sandwich in front of her and say on the stool next to her, his own in front of him. "Yeah, I don't know who taught her to be so responsible. I mean, you've met me, and her mother is way worse."

Kate laughed and took a bite of her sandwich. "She's pretty funny though." She thought back to the girl chattering away about her made up language earlier. "I did this thing with her in the bath, where I had her howl at the moon so the soap doesn't get in her eyes, and she really gets into it! I laughed so hard!"

"Howl at the moon? That's brilliant!" He smiled at her. "I am so going to keep doing that! How did you come up with it?"

She shrugged. "I remember my mom doing it to me. I don't know where she came up with it." She smiled to herself, remembering bath time at night with her mom, how Johanna never got angry when Kate splashed her, or the time she brought Kate goggles so that she could really see under the water. And the food coloring and the bubbles just made it all so much fun. All of these things and more were memories she wanted to recreate with her own daughter.

"Well, then brilliance must just run in the Beckett family, because you Beckett women are smart!"

She laughed at him. "Thanks." She picked up their empty plates and brought them to the sink, washing all the dishes he had used. "So how was your trip?"

He came over and began drying what she washed. "Pretty good. I signed some books, met some fans, had a few drinks. Book tours are nice." He shrugged. "But I missed my daughter. I wanted to come home."

She glanced toward the office, where Carrie was thankfully still sound asleep. "I can't imagine two days away from my bean." She affirmed, the corners of her mouth turning slightly upward as she pictured the toddler.

"It's not easy." He affirmed, putting the dry dishes away. "But it's a nice homecoming. They've always missed you too." He smiled at her, leaning against the counter. "You never sent me those fashion show pictures."

She raised her eyebrows. "I didn't? The camera is in the living room, follow me." She walked over to the side table where it sat, untouched from the other night. She sat on the couch, and he sat next to her, both of them leaning in to see the tiny screen on her digital camera. Their heads were practically touching.

He commented on every picture, and always had something to say about how adorable the girls were. He was right, they were pretty cute, each a total ham for the camera, and he had quite a few he actually wanted printed so he could have hard copies. When they got to the pictures Alexis had taken of Kate and Carrie, he laughed. "She needs some photography lessons!" They were blurry, and at odd angles because Kate was so tall. The last one though, it wasn't so bad. It was clear at least, and Kate had struck her model pose away the end of their runway, and Carrie was actually smiling. "This is a good one." He noted, squeezing her knee.

"You think?"

"Definitely!" He enthused. "You look like a real model here instead of a fairy one! Sexy."

She grinned, and turned her head to look at him, finding his eyes already studying her. They flicked from her eyes, to her mouth, and back to her eyes again. And before she could stop it his lips connected with hers. It was incredible, more than she would have thought, and as much as she wanted to kiss him all night, she pulled away. She looked at the ground, refusing to meet his eye, her cheeks red and her heart racing for the second time that night. "I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have done that." Came his reply, and now she was upset that he was blaming himself.

She shook her head. "No, it's not you, it's me. And yes, I know that's cliché but it's true."

"How so?" He inquired.

She still hadn't looked at him. "You deserve better."

He gently tilted her head towards him with his finger and searched her eyes. "How can you say that?"

She shook her head, trying to put words to what she was feeling inside. "Because, you have all this experience, and an established life, and a great career, a wonderful daughter and you're all set. I'm still getting on my feet, struggling, with an alcoholic father and no idea where I will be in the next six months. On top of that, I have baggage that I don't want to drag you or Alexis into." The words fell out of her mouth, all her doubts flying out of her brain and into the atmosphere around them, and she hated it. She hated watching his face fall as she said it, hated hearing it herself, but she really thought they were better off as friends.

He took a deep breath in and out. "Kate, I know your baggage. And you're young, it's normal not to know what you want out of life right now."

"Another reason, the age difference. I mean, it doesn't bother me much, but what if our families don't approve?" She offered lamely, but even she had trouble with that excuse.

"Come on, Kate! That's stupid, and you know it!"

She sighed. "I know." She took his hand in hers. "Look, you deserve someone who can be fully present in a relationship with you, and right now, I don't think I can do that. I'm not saying no forever, just no for right now. Is that okay?" Between her school, work, rebuilding a relationship with her father, training for the police force, working on her own self-esteem, and raising her daughter, she didn't have time for all of the trials a relationship could stir up. "I care about you, a lot. Seriously. You guys are like family, and I really don't want to screw this up by doing something stupid."

"You wouldn't." He responded, and she could hear the pain in his voice.

"You don't know that. And if this crashes and burns, it's not just us we have to worry about."

"I know that." He argued. "Which is all more motivation to make this work." He gestured between the two of them.

She grabbed his hand. "Or the motivation we need to wait for the right time. Give me time to work on me. It's not a never, I promise."

He sighed. "Fine, but you need to promise me something."

She nodded. She'd do anything for him, especially now that she was hurting him so. "What is it."

He looked her in the eye again. "No matter how weird things get between us, if we eventually do this and it crashes, I want you to make sure you never leave Alexis."

Her heart swelled at his request. "I wouldn't."

He shook his head. "No, I mean it. Her mother left her, and it kills her. I don't let a lot of adults in my life close to her, Kate. I don't want to see someone break her little heart again. If anything happens between us, you need to promise that you will put your feelings about me aside, and never leave my daughter."

She nodded, brushing loose hair behind her ear. "Okay. Can you do the same? Because if Carrie ever lost you, she'd be devastated."

He nodded. "Goes without saying." He squeezed her hand again, and she tried to ignore the pain in her heart. "Uh, you should get back to sleep. It's late." He suggested, releasing her hand.

She sighed. "Yeah. You too. Do you want your bed?"

He shook his head. "No, I'll take the guest room upstairs. Stay down here with your daughter."

She desperately wanted things to be normal again. She hated this uncomfortable awkwardness that hung in the air around them. They stood together, and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pressing herself against him until she felt him return the hug. She pulled away slowly. "Goodnight, Rick."

"Goodnight."

* * *

><p>AN: I don't know, I'm not as crazy about this chapter as I am the others... Sorry about the rushed day in the first few paragraphs, I could have dragged that out, and I really wanted a different chapter that wasn't focused on Kate babysitting, you know? I hope you all enjoy!

p.s. what did you all think of that two parter? Pretty freaking incredible, right!? I may have stopped breathing...


	8. Chapter 8

Rick wanted to skip the dinner this week. Especially because this time, it was at Kate's, and he couldn't bring his Mom along as a buffer. He was so tempted to pick up the phone and cancel, except for the fact that he knew his little girl would be heartbroken. All she had talked about since Kate left them Sunday afternoon was seeing them again on Wednesday. That, and he had made a promise to be there for Carrie, no matter how awkward their encounters became. And as uncomfortable as it had become around Kate, Richard Castle never broke a promise. Especially if that promise included adorable baby girls with gigantic, soul-piercing brown eyes.

So now he found himself outside of her door, shuffling his weight from one foot to the other as Alexis bounced up and down with more energy than he ever remembered having. He knocked on the door, listening to the clanging of pots on the other side. "Do you mind getting the door?" he heard her ask. Considering he had wanted to bring his own buffer, he didn't blame her for inviting someone else, but was somewhat surprised when he was greeted at the door by her father.

"Who are you?" Came the small voice at his side, his daughter looking at the unknown man with confusion.

Her dad laughed. "I'm Katie's Dad. You must be Alexis. I've heard a lot about you." He reached his hand out to her, and she shook it tentatively.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Beckett." Castle said, holding out a hand as Alexis slipped past him into the apartment.

"Don't call me that, it makes me feel old. Please, call me Jim." He shook Rick's hand and moved out of the way, inviting Rick inside. Carrie was sitting on the floor of the living room, and Alexis had made her way to the kitchen, offering to help Kate however she could.

Rick turned back to Jim and smiled awkwardly. "If I remember correctly, I threatened you."

Jim chuckled at that, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. "I deserved it." He shrugged and Rick relaxed. "If I remember correctly, I may have shoved you or something? My memory is not that clear." He offered.

"No shoving. You sort of poked my nose, it was harmless, really." Rick answered. He didn't want Kate's father to feel any worse about that night than he maybe already did. Besides, that was ten months ago, and it really was no use holding grudges, especially with how hard he was working to change.

"It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have done it, and I apologize."

Rick flashed a reassuring smile at the older man. "Apology accepted." He walked into the living room, and picked up the infant. "How is my favorite brown eyed baby girl?"

She tucked her head into his neck in response, her version of a hug. Rick kissed her hair. "Hey, bean! I missed you!" Kate had been lucky. She spent a whole two days with his daughter and hers. Rick had hoped that he would be able to spend time with them both on Sunday morning. But as soon as Carrie had woken up, Kate had whisked them away, muttering something about studying for finals, hugging Alexis one final time before they left. He guessed it had something to do with the kiss they shared, and in a way, he was happy she had left. He hadn't decided how he felt yet that morning, and really wanted to avoid the whole situation, but didn't want to be a jerk and kick her out of his house. But being unable to see bean sucked, and considering how much Alexis talked about her, he had really missed this baby.

He walked with them into the kitchen, where Alexis was sitting with a trash barrel in front of her, husking corn. She looked up at him and grinned. "Hi Daddy! I'm helping Kate!"

He grinned at her, and patted her hair with his free hand. "Good. That is very thoughtful of you, pumpkin." He walked over to Kate, touching her shoulder lightly so she would turn, and wrapping her in a hug. "How was studying?"

She shrugged as she pulled away from him. "Oh, you know, same old." She pinched her little one's cheeks. "Do you want to show Rick your newest trick?"

He clutched Carrie closer to him. "You have a new trick?" He looked back at Kate, whose wide grin had stretched across her face. "What's her new trick?" He asked, practically jumping with the baby in his arms.

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Press play on the stereo. Put her down and hold her hands. She does this adorable bouncing dance thing, it's probably the cutest thing I've ever seen. But seriously, hold her hands because she is still unsteady on her feet."

Now he rolled his eyes. "Kate, remember, I've raised a child already, I know to hold her hands." She shook her head at him as he walked away. He whispered to Carrie as they found the stereo. "We have got to get you walking soon. That way we can really drive your Mom nuts!" She giggled at him in response. He laughed louder than he wanted to when a Madonna song played, but put Carrie down anyway, holding her hands and watching her bounce. Kate was right, it was adorable, from the actual 'dancing' to the giant smile on her face as she laughed. "Alexis! Come see this!" He shouted, knowing that his daughter would appreciate the sight.

Alexis came running, laughing when she got into the room. "Dad, she's dancing!" She yelled, jumping up and down, and eventually joining in. The tree of them had their own private dance party in the living room until Kate called them for dinner.

Rick reluctantly picked up the baby and handed her over to her mother. "We are continuing that later. But with better music." He sat at the table, grabbing a helping of mashed potatoes and an ear of corn. "Got any Aerosmith?"

She put Carrie in the high chair and sat in her own seat. "Probably, somewhere. I might need to dig it out."

"Are you a classic rock fan, Rick?" Jim asked, serving himself dinner.

Rick nodded as he filled Alexis' plate. "Yep. Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, Queen, I like them all." He smiled at the older man who was observing him, almost as if this was some sort of test. "What about you, Jim, do you like classic rock?"

The older man shrugged. "It's alright. I'm a jazz fan myself. Coltrane."

Rick nodded, taking a bite of the turkey. "I listen to some jazz. I write to it sometimes, it's not distracting like other music can be."

"I play it while I study. It's relaxing." Kate added as she cut up some turkey on Carrie's tray. "But we wanted to dance earlier, so Carrie and I put on Madonna. Right, bean?"

"When I want to dance, Gram plays music on the piano." Alexis added, unwilling to be left out. Rick played with the hair on the back of her head.

"Can you play the piano?" Jim asked her, to which she shook her head. Jim scrunched his nose. "Yeah, Kate didn't like the piano either."

Kate groaned at that, shaking her head, disgust etched into her features. "Ugh, I hated it! And you guys kept pushing it on me!"

Jim shrugged. "Music makes you smarter."

She almost shuddered at his statement. "Yeah, but it's cruel to force your kids to do something they hate!" She played with one of Carrie's curls. "Bean, I promise you, I'll never make you take piano."

Rick laughed at the exchange. "You probably won't need to force her, did you see her dancing out there? She will be dragging you to her piano recitals, begging you to spend your entire paycheck on lessons, and you will do it just to make her smile. Mark my words."

Her eyes narrowed as she eyed him up and down. "You just cursed me, I don't know how, but you did." She turned to Carrie. "Promise me you'll be a prodigy! Please, tell me I won't ever have to listen to awful and awkward renditions of _Fur Elise_ and _Ode to Joy_. Can you promise Mumma?"

"No." Carrie answered, and the whole room laughed. Kate shook her head, her eyes rolling back into her skull. "This is the game we play." She explained. To demonstrate, she met Carrie's brown eyes. "Carrie, do you want one million dollars?"

"No." She shook her head as she answered, her curls bouncing with the movement, and met her mother's eyes, awaiting the next question.

"Do you want a vacation to Paris?" Kate's voice trailed off each time after the word 'want', giving her time to think of a request, and providing a dramatic pause.

"No."

"Do you want a private jet?"

"No"

"Carrie!" Rick got her attention, and she looked at him, a grin on her face. "Do you want to live with me and Lexi?"

"No."

"Carrie." Alexis joined next, and the baby's head swiveled to observe the redhead. "Do you want a cute little puppy?"

"No!" She shouted it this time, her hand up above her head while she pointed at Alexis. As they laughed, she posed another question. "Do you want ice cream for dinner?"

"No!"

"Well fine then, do you want liver and onions?" Jim cut in. Carrie decided then that she was done with the game, shoving food into her mouth instead. Jim shrugged. "I guess that's a yes?"

Kate and Rick chuckled, and they all went back to their food. They chatted about anything that they could, from school, to work, to their weekends, which had Alexis chattering excitedly about their fashion show. Rick Watched Kate listen, her focus entirely on his little girl as she talked about the show. "Kate." He spoke, shaking her concentration. Her eyes flicked to his. "Did you ever print that awesome picture of you and Carrie?"

She blushed, probably remembering that he had called it sexy. But it was sexy, and he definitely didn't regret saying it. She shook her head. "Not yet, I haven't had the time."

"What picture?" Jim asked, clearly feeling out of the loop.

Rick grinned, the image coming to his head faster than he cared to admit. "A picture Alexis took during the fashion show. Kate is carrying bean, and she had my… uh, my daughter's fairy wings on, and she literally strikes the perfect model pose."

Jim laughed. "She better have! That year spent modeling her senior year of high school helped pay for her motorcycle."

As Rick grinned from ear to ear, loving the new information he had been given, Kate shot daggers across the table at her father. Oh, Rick was so glad he wasn't on the receiving end of that glare, although he knew he would be as long as their friendship continued.

"What? You never told me it was a secret!" Jim laughed, clearly not afraid of his daughter's evil look.

"You have a motorcycle!" Alexis enthused, her blue eyes wide. As Kate nodded, she bounced in her seat. "That is so cool! Can I ride it some day?"

Kate laughed, letting out a breath. "Someday, when you are older."

When they had calmed down and finished eating, Rick and Jim cleaned the kitchen while the girls had a dance party. They still blasted Madonna, but rick didn't care. The laughing voices from the other room put a smile on his face. "Your daughter is sweet." Jim said to him as he put away the leftovers.

Rick grinned. "Yeah, she's pretty great. I don't know where she learns it."

Jim chuckled. "You don't think you're sweet?"

"I mean, sure, I guess I'm sweet." He paused, glancing into the other room. "She's just nothing like me, or her mother. Sometimes I wonder where she got her personality."

"She seems just like you. Precocious, smart, funny, and polite."

Rick shook his head. "See, that's just it, it's the _polite _part. I didn't teach her that."

Jim laughed. "Kids can surprise you. Katie is just like her mother sometimes, makes the same faces and everything. But she always managed to surprise us. Her wild child phase was worse that Johanna's and mine put together."

"Tell me more about wild Kate." Rick requested, scrubbing the pan.

Jim shook his head. "Are you kidding me? After the daggers she shot me at the table? No thank you, I'll let you discover that for yourself."

Rick groaned. "Come on! Who's going to know?" He whispered.

"Who's going to know what?" Kate's voice behind him made Rick jump, but he relaxed slightly at the sound of her giggles.

"I was trying to get your father to tell me what he got Carrie for her birthday." He lied, the words falling quickly out of his mouth.

"Mmhmm. Sure." She hummed, grabbing a glass of water and strutting away.

Rick turned to Jim, a smile stretching across his lips. "Close call."

Jim shook his head, mirroring Rick's smile. "She's on to you." With a raise of his eyebrows, he went back to his work cleaning the dishes. When they finished, they joined the party, laughing and telling stories until Alexis started to yawn.

Rick stood, Alexis standing behind him. "We should go. Someone has school in the morning." He stroked his daughter's hair, nudging her towards Kate. Alexis ran to the woman, wrapping her in a fierce hug.

Kate looked up, her hazel eyes meeting his. "You remember I can't do dinner next week? I have finals, and I'm stressing, and I'll be no fun."

Rick nodded, picking up the baby and kissing her cheek. "Yep, but the week after that is someone's birthday. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Alexis hopped up and down. "And her gift is really good."

Kate grinned as she stood, moving toward Rick. "Is it, now?"

"Lex! Don't give it away!" Rick fake whispered to his daughter.

"What? I wasn't going to say what it is, just that it's good!" She countered, and he had to fight back his smile.

He reached to Kate, wrapping her in his arms. This hug wasn't as stiff as the one a few days ago, and he was thankful for that. It felt more natural, like things were back to normal. This he viewed as a blessing and a curse, because as much as he enjoyed normal, he really wanted something more. But she hadn't said no, she said soon, and soon was something he could wait for. "See you in two weeks." He told her as they pulled apart.

"Yeah. Um, drive safe." She offered in return.

* * *

><p>AN: Next week is full of fluff and birthday fun! I can't wait!

Did anyone else die when Ryan said, "Hey Castles!" because it literally made my night.

On another note... I sort of feel weird asking this, but I am putting it in all my stories this week and will continue to do this throughout the month of April... I have a campaign on Facebook that I would be honored if people could share. facebook.c0m (slash)ordinaryisextraordinary is my way of trying to raise awareness about sexual abuse. Pinned to the top is a video called Ordinary is Extraordinary (Yes, that is me, in case anyone was wondering what I look and sound like). If you all could find the time to share the page and the video, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!


	9. Chapter 9

"Carolyn Johanna Beckett, why are you doing this to me?" It was as if she was doing her absolute best to make things difficult. Every time Kate cleaned something, Carrie went over and messed it up again. Currently she was yanking all of her books off of the bookshelf and spreading them all over the floor. "I've cleaned those three times already!" She tried not to shout as she cleaned the books up yet again. Carrie didn't get it, the concept of clean, and the last thing she wanted for the party was an upset baby. Besides, she was just doing what she was supposed to be doing, exploring the world around her. It wasn't out of spite, and as annoying as it was, Kate couldn't be angry. Kate scooped up her daughter in one hand, and the shoebox of wooden blocks in the other, carrying them both out of her room and into the living room instead. She put Carrie down on the floor and shut the door behind them. "Maybe now it will stay clean until your friends arrive."

She returned to the kitchen and dining area, twisting the purple and green crepe paper together and hanging it from the ceiling. She had balloons tied to the back of each chair, and a party hat at each place. The paper plates and cups were purple, with little grey cartoon elephants dancing along the edges. Kate had even managed to find a "pin the trunk on the elephant" game for the older kids from the daycare. Elephants had never been Kate's thing. She liked monkeys, the smaller the better. Elephants were her mom's obsession, and Kate felt like with them around, her mom was still with her, watching over them.

The phone rang as she taped up the other end of the crepe paper. She stepped down from the chair, heading for the phone. As she reached it and picked up, Kate noticed all of her books in a pile on the ground, Carrie pulling each one off the shelf and throwing it. So when she had meant to say, "Hello" into the phone, she instead yelled, "Carrie! No!"

"No!" The little girl echoed.

"That's right, no!" Kate repeated, hoping that her frustration was coming through in her voice. She began to put the books back with one hand as Carrie began to wail, as if she realized that her game was over, and that she couldn't get away with this again.

Kate heard a chuckle in her ear. "You know, it's mean to yell at the birthday girl."

She rolled her eyes, annoyed that he didn't have the benefit of seeing it. "Hey, Rick. Sorry. She just decided to be destructo-baby today I guess."

He laughed. "They all do that, it's like a game."

"I know!" She answered, lifting her wailing daughter and placing her in her high chair, giving her a few of the blocks so she would have something to keep her busy while Kate moved around. "She just destroys things after I finish cleaning, and it's going to drive me insane." She explained, pulling the cake out of the fridge.

"You do realize that your place will have at least five other kids there, and it's going to get destroyed, right?"

She shook her head, once again wishing he could be there to see her denial. "Nope. I don't believe you. Kids are angels, they don't make messes!" She could hear him giggling on the other end of the phone, and let out a breathy chuckle of her own. "Yes, I know that, but there's no reason that I can't make my place presentable before they get here."

"I guess not. Do you need anything from me before I get there?"

She looked around. She had plates, drinks, games, goodie bags, plastic silverware and child appropriate music. "I think I'm good. How long until you guys come?" She felt strange asking, but honestly, she hadn't seen the Castle's in almost two weeks, and she really missed the hugs from Alexis. And the hugs from Rick as well, but she wasn't sure she wanted to admit that yet. "And did you hear back from your mother, is she coming?"

"Mother will be there, and we can get there as soon as you are ready for us." His answer was like music to her ears, and she found herself grinning like a fool.

"Well, I'm all set up, we are ready for you whenever." She answered, trying to make her voice sound nonchalant instead of eager.

He chuckled. "Okay, we are on our way. Be there soon." She heard the click as he hung up the phone, and she placed hers back on the base. She walked over to the high chair, where Carrie was scribbling away. When Carrie looked up, she flashed her mother a toothy grin and held up another crayon before returning to her drawing.

"What are we drawing here, Carrie Jo?" Kate asked, leaning over the drawing. Carrie babbled back at her, strings of syllables that only meant something to her. "I see a lot of red. Are you drawing Alexis?" Kate suggested, taking the blue crayon Carrie had handed her and drawing a heart.

"No." Carrie answered back with a grin, which Kate mirrored.

_Oh, so you want to play this game._ "Is it a rocket ship?"

"No!"

Kate laughed, drawing a simple smiley face and adding curly hair. "Is it a doggie?

"No!" She threw the crayon down on the tray in front of her, and babbled, tired of the game.

"Oh, I see." Kate answered her, adding a stick figure to the head she drew earlier. "What do you say we get down and hang out until Rick and Alexis get here?"

Carrie looked up, her brown eyes wide and an infectious grin stretching across her face. "Rih?"

Kate picked her up, settling the baby on her hip. "Yes! Rick is coming!" She walked into the living room, this time sitting on the floor with her while she played with her blocks, making sure she didn't destroy everything. She found herself anxious to see them, glancing at the clock every few seconds and listening for the sound of footsteps on the floor outside her door. Carrie seemed to have forgotten all about them, babbling while she stacked her blocks and knocked them over again, erupting with joy each time the blocks fell. Kate watched her, smiling and laughing along with her, chasing after the blocks as they fell.

She was almost embarrassed about how fast she jumped up when she heard the knock on her door. She could hear the six-year-old giggling before the door opened, bringing a smile to her face. "Hello Castle family!" She said as she opened the door, finding the three of them with smiles on their faces that warmed her heart.

"I am not a Castle, I am a Rodgers." Martha corrected before gathering Kate in a hug that literally turned her around on her toes.

Kate wrapped her arms around the older woman, hugging her back with just as much ferocity. "I missed you!" She whispered before they pulled apart from each other.

"Oh Katherine, dear, I missed you too!" She walked into the living room with a purpose, immediately lifting the baby and pressing a wet kiss to her chubby cheek. "Carolyn, look at how big you got! Oh, it's been too long!"

Carrie ignored the woman, pointing instead at Rick. "Rih!"

Kate hadn't realized how close he was to her until she felt the rumble of his laughter from behind her. It was as if he had wanted to surprise her with a hug from behind, but thought better of it, and hadn't had the chance to move. Martha walked toward them, muttering something about being chopped liver before depositing the baby in his arms. He lifted her above his head, lowering her to him to smother her with kisses. "I missed you so much, Bean!" He enthused, a childish grin on his face.

Kate felt Alexis tap her hand, and looked down to see her there with a thin present wrapped in orange paper. "Where should I put this?" The redhead asked, holding it out eagerly.

Kate laughed. "On the ground so you can hug me properly." She watched the grin stretch across the redhead's face as she carefully placed the gift on the ground and wrapped her arms around Kate's neck. Kate lifted her, spinning once before putting her down again. "There's an empty table in the kitchen, you can put the gift there." She instructed, watching the girl run off.

Rick hugged her from the side, but she turned into it, making it less awkward. "How did finals go?" he asked her as they pulled apart.

Kate brushed her hair behind her ear. "Alright, I think. I only have two classes left to go."

He smiled, placing his hand in the small of her back as they walked toward the living room. "That's great! What's after that?"

She shrugged. "I've been toying with the idea of entering the police academy now, that way I finish both at around the same time and can get a job after that."

They sat on the couch, and Rick let Carrie free to crawl around the floor. "How much work is that going to be though?"

She shook her head. "I have no idea. I'm thinking of e-mailing someone to see what they suggest." She watched her daughter crawl back towards the blocks, where Alexis was already building her own little tower. She turned her head towards Rick, meeting his eyes. "I missed you last week."

He smiled, and rubbed her knee with his hand. "I missed you too." She found herself leaning towards him slightly more than she would have a few weeks ago, happy that they were back to being comfortable with each other.

Martha came back from the kitchen, a glass of water in her hand, and sat in the chair opposite them. "Katherine, who else is coming? I saw a lot of plates out there."

Kate sighed. "I invited the daycare, and a few parents responded. The kids should range in age from six months to five years." She glanced around her place, hoping there would be enough room. "I'm so glad you guys came first though. It's nice to really know the people in your house." Not that she hadn't met other parents before, she just didn't know them like she knew Rick.

"And your father?" Martha continued, sitting back, and trying (and failing) to hide her grin as she watched Rick and Kate scooch closer together.

"He's coming, he just might be late. He got some court appointed case, and just has to appear briefly. He doesn't think it should take too long." She explained.

Martha nodded, and proceeded to help them pass the next half hour by telling stories about the crazy director she was currently working with. And before she had realized how much time had passed, there was a knock on her door. Kate got up to answer it, and saw a blonde woman there with two smaller children, one in diapers, and one who was maybe four. "Hi, Emily!" Kate greeted after a moment of hesitation. "I'm so glad you all could make it!" She lowered herself to the boy's level. "Your name is Jonah, right?" He nodded in response, hiding behind his mom's leg. "Well Jonah, Carrie and Alexis are here playing with blocks. Alexis doesn't go to daycare with you, but she's pretty cool. Want to go say 'hi?'" She held out her hand to him, and he took it tentatively, walking with her into the living room. "Hey Lex, this is Jonah." Kate called to the girl, who hopped up and ran towards him.

"Hi Jonah! Want to play with blocks?"

"Sure."

Kate tapped Alexis' shoulder. "Do you mind just opening the door to Carrie's room? More kids will come soon, and all the toys are in there." Alexis nodded, running over to open the door and returning to the blocks, where the two older kids built towers and Carrie knocked them down.

Kate turned back to the blonde woman. "Emily, this is Rick and Martha." She gestured to the couch. "Please, make yourself at home!" Kate switched into the role of hostess pretty easily as more people came, offering up her couch to the five families who came from the daycare center. And she found it easier than she had thought it would be to have a good time with the people she didn't really know. Alexis kept the older kids busy, While Kate and Rick corralled the toddlers and babies. Her Dad wasn't too late, only about an hour, and he arrived dressed in his suit with the little pink gift clasped in his hands.

Once Jim had arrived, Martha declared it time for cake, and led the older kids to the table, where Kate discovered that she really was the best person to lead a birthday song. Kate helped Carrie blow out her candle, and Rick passed cake and ice cream out to everyone.

Kate was startled by a hand on her shoulder. Sharon, the Mother of a sweet three year old girl, had positioned herself to whisper into Kate's ear. "Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but is that Richard Castle, as in, the mystery writer?"

Kate let out a chuckle. "Yeah. He used to live across from me."

"Is he single?"

Kate was surprised by how long it actually took her to answer that question. "Yeah." She could have sworn she could feel her heart falling as the word fell out of her mouth.

"So he's not involved with you? I could give him my number?" Sharon had been talking earlier about her divorce, the fact that her husband cheated on her with someone from his past, so Kate wasn't really surprised by this request.

She sighed before shaking her head. "We aren't involved. Do whatever you'd like." As Sharon walked away, complete glee radiating from every pore on her body, Kate sat next to her daughter, and tried to fight the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Jealousy, that was the name of it, rearing it's ugly head, and she found herself unable to even look at her best friend.

When they had finished with cake, Martha ushered them into the living room. "I'll bring the gifts to you, dear, just go sit!" Kate laughed, finding a place on the floor in front of the chair, placing Carrie in the center of her crossed legs.

The guests sat in a semi-circle surrounding them, and Martha brought them gifts one by one. They got stuffed animals, a toy phone that made music when you pressed buttons, an electronic guitar that played 'If you're happy and you know it', and quite a few stuffed animals.

Martha brought over Jim's gift, a small box wrapped in pink paper. "What did Papa get for you, Carrie Jo?"

"It's not really something she can use right away." Jim explained, his voice soft and hesitant.

Kate nodded. "That's fine. Whatever it is, we can put it away." She definitely wasn't going to complain. A year ago, she didn't think her father would even be here, so she was just thankful he was here. Kate helped her daughter rip the paper, and then opened the box to find a small, silver heart-shaped locket inside. She looked over to Jim. "Dad! It's beautiful! Thank you so much."

"Did you look inside?" She shook her head, and used her nails to pry the locket open. She was met with a picture of her mother on one side, holding her as a baby. On the other side was her favorite picture of her mom, smiling and looking off into the distance. "I know you wear her ring on that chain around your neck." Her hands flew to it as he talked. "I just though Carrie should have something like that, something to keep her close with."

Kate lifted Carrie out of her lap, and Rick was there in an instant to take her. Kate jumped up and walked over to where her father was sitting, wrapping him in the hug he wanted to get from her the first day he showed up at her door sober, the hug she had been denying him. She felt a few tears run down her cheeks as they gently rocked back and forth. "Thank you Dad. It's perfect." She smiled at him as she pulled away, wiping the tears from her face.

Martha was holding the last gift in her hand, the one from Rick and Alexis, so Kate sat and took her daughter back in her lap. They opened it together, and Kate wasn't entirely surprised to find a hardcover book. But when she turned it over, she saw the fancy letters across the top. _Little Bean, by Richard Castle. Illustrated by Alexis Castle._ She looked up at him, her mouth dropping open in surprise. "How did you?"

"I know some people, asked for some favors." He shrugged, the smug grin stretching wider across his face.

"Read it out loud, Kate!" Alexis jumped up and down on her knees.

Kate looked at the cover in awe. The drawing of Carrie on the cover was done in crayon, but absolutely adorable, a smiley face with crazy brown curls. Kate leaned down to whisper in Carrie's ear. "You want to read your new book, Bean?" Carrie pulled the cover open in response, and curled into her mother's chest as Kate got ready to read aloud.

Rick interrupted before she got a chance. "I just want it on the record that I am in no way a children's book writer, nor am I a poet."

Kate's eyebrows raised with amusement. "Noted." She snuggled her bean closer to her, and began to read. "Hello everyone, my name is Bean, The smartest little girl that you've ever seen." There was another picture of Carrie on this page, a lightbulb drawn over her head. "With a mop of brown curls and big, big brown eyes, That love to observe from the land to the skies." Alexis had drawn a landscape here, complete with a pond and flowers, a few birds in the sky.

"I know I'm the luckiest girl around, Because the love that I feel is so profound." Here Carrie was drawn holding onto a heart, and hearts of all sizes and colors were drawn all over the page. Kate found herself smiling as she turned each page, excited to see what would pop up. "First, there's Alexis who shares all her toys, Who has no problems helping me make noise." Alexis had drawn herself and Carrie here, both of them banging on drums. Kate noticed she had gone back to drawing herself with straight hair.

"Then, there's Rick, who holds me tight, Who somehow got me to sleep at night." Kate laughed at this page, remembering that night eleven months ago when they met, when she felt all alone. She felt crazy for that now. The picture showed Rick holding Carrie, who had z's coming from her head as she slept. "My Papa is helpful, quiet, and fair, And plays with me so I'm out of Mommy's hair." This picture wasn't as accurate, which was expected, because Alexis had only met Jim two weeks ago. But a man was in the picture, stacking blocks with the curly haired baby.

Kate turned the page and was met with a portrait of herself, long brown hair, blue eyes which Kate chuckled at, and a tiara, the tips of the pink and blue fairy wings peeking from the top of her shoulders. "But my Mommy, oh my Mommy, she's the best of the best, With her in my life, I'm truly blessed. Mommy is beautiful, smart, patient, and gentle, Kind, silly, tough, and sentimental." Kate felt herself tearing up at the words, as Carrie almost curled tighter into her body. She sniffed and turned the page, finding a picture of herself and Carrie standing with their arms up. "If I know one thing, of this I am sure, I can't wait to grow up, and be just like her."

Kate leaned down, placing a kiss in her daughter's curls before turning to the last page. "That's a lot to take in, but I hope you have seen, That I'm the luckiest girl, and my name is Little Bean." Kate closed the book, holding Carrie close to her while she smiled at Rick. "Thank you for that."

He grinned back. "I'm glad you liked it."

She looked at Alexis now, her happiness doubling. "And your pictures were so beautiful, Lex!"

She grinned. "Thanks! But I couldn't remember what color your eyes were."

Kate felt the laughter bubbling in her chest. "That's okay! They were beautiful, sweetheart, I promise." Kate fought the tears, she really did, but they shed freely. Because reading that book, with her amazing daughter curled in her lap and all the wonderful things they said about her, she was finally seeing herself through Carrie's eyes. It was something Martha had suggested ages ago, with the assurance that Carrie would always think Kate was the best Mom in the world. It was supposed to help boost her self-esteem, and today, it really had. Between this book and her Dad's locket, she was a wreck, and Rick had moved to cleaning up the paper.

Kate regained her senses enough to help, letting Carrie play with her new toys while she cleaned and said goodbyes. She clenched her jaw as she saw Sharon pass a piece of paper to Rick, but her chest puffed out when she saw Rick throw it out after she had left. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth as she turned, trying to hide her glee. Soon it was just the Castle's and her Dad left. She left Carrie with her Dad while she went into the other room to clean up the toys in her daughter's room again.

She jumped when she felt his hand on her shoulder. "I didn't intend for you to cry when you read that book." He teased.

She rolled her eyes. "It was residual rom the locket." She lied as she turned towards him, her hands resting on his shoulders.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire." It was so childish, but she couldn't help it. She laughed, leaning forward and surprising him with a touch of their lips. He deepened the kiss after a moment, holding her tighter to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

He sighed, disappointed when her lips left his. "I hate myself for that. I'm sorry."

He rolled his eyes. "What is it?"

She shook her head. "Almost. I promise, almost. But I still have school, and I need to find a job that's not waitressing." She bit her lip again. "But I want you. I'm so confused, and I don't want to string you along."

He sighed, holding her closer. "Okay. So we aren't dating. Yet. But we both want each other, right?" His eyebrows raised, and she nodded, meeting his eyes. "So, we can revisit this in a few months if you'd like. But until then, I'm not going to date anyone else. Unless you have a twin who's not as flip-floppy."

She laughed at that, and the smile curling at his lips. "No twin, sorry." She rubbed his face with her thumb. "I won't date anyone else either. It's just you, Rick. It's always been you."

His grin got wider at that, and if grins could generate light, Kate was sure it would have been seen across the country. "Can I still kiss you sometimes though?" he asked, dropping the grin for a more serious expression.

"Oh, definitely." She pulled his face to her, and met his lips again, allowing their bodies to melt into each other.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this took a bit longer! I had to move into a different dorm building on Monday, which was a pain... I thought I was going to move tonight, but the date got moved up, and I was home for church stuff this weekend. I guess it's still Wednesday, I just like to get them to you all sooner! I hope you enjoy, and good luck waiting for the next episode, because two weeks seems so far away! and to everyone who checked out and shared my campaign, thank you! This fandom rocks!


	10. Chapter 10

Alexis was smarter than they gave her credit for, which was saying a lot, because they knew she was really smart. She may only be six, but she could see what was going on.

Exhibit A: They spent an awful lot of time with Kate. Which was fine, really, she loved Kate. And she loved Carrie. And before she knew it, Wednesday night dinners turned into meetings at the park after school for so-called "play dates" with Carrie. Then they had random movie nights on at least one weekend day, but usually both, where they would all watch some sort of family movie, usually involving music. That turned into Alexis and her Daddy meeting Kate and Carrie for coffee (or cocoa in Alexis' case) and doughnuts before school. Alexis didn't mind these changes, she really didn't. But they were enough to get her to really pay attention, and that is when the little girl had really started to notice things.

Exhibit B: They were closer. Kate and her Dad were closer than ever, from the way that they cuddled on the couch, Kate resting her head on his shoulder, her Daddy wrapping his arm around her back, holding her there. Sometimes he even rubbed her shoulder or her back while they sat. That and at dinner, they sat closer and closer to each other, and sometimes, their hands touched. And it took her Daddy longer to give Kate coffee than it took to give Alexis her cocoa, because neither one of them wanted to let go of the other one's hand when they met around the beverage. At first, Alexis had found this annoying. Sometimes she wanted to cuddle with him too! But she soon learned that there were some advantages to this. Like, they told each other things. Kate taught her Daddy all about how to wash Alexis' hair without getting soapy water in her eyes. That was great, because now he was a pro, and it was one less thing that Alexis had to worry about teaching him. She had learned that this worked both ways. On one Wednesday, when a boy had made fun of her hair earlier at school, she had hidden upstairs, sulking in her room. Kate knocked on the door, a hairbrush, squirt bottle, and elastics in her hand. She had sat on the bed behind Alexis, stroking her hair, brushing out the snarls, and commenting on how beautiful and long it was. When she leaned forward, Kate's breath tickled her ear, and Alexis couldn't help but giggle. "Can I braid it?" Alexis nodded at her request, and Kate quickly did her long red hair in two pretty French braids, tied with yellow elastics. She sprayed her hair with the spray bottle, and came around to face the younger girl. "If you sleep in these, tomorrow morning, when you take them out, your hair will be nice and wavy. I used to do it all the time when I was little." She had hugged Alexis and coaxed her downstairs, and the next day, no one made fun of her hair. eventually, Alexis learned that Kate was happy to share her Daddy during the movies.

Exhibit C: They were happier. This meant everyone, including herself. She couldn't remember life before Kate and Carrie had been introduced to her, and she didn't want to. She had a dream, a nightmare really, where Kate had left her for LA like her Mom and never came back, and Alexis had woken with tears in her blue eyes. She told Kate all about it the next day. Kate assured her this would never happen, that she would never leave her, and that she liked New York too much to ever live that far away. She then wrapped Alexis in a huge hug, one that made her feel safe and secure. It used to be only her Daddy that could hug her and make her feel safe, but she figured he must have taught Kate how to do that like she taught him all about her hair. She liked it. She liked that Kate smiled and laughed a lot more, and that she had joined in on their massive game of laser tag (and was sort of kicking their butts). She loved that her dad was excited to wake up every morning, waiting by the door to go to the coffee shop before Alexis had even put on her shoes. She liked celebrating the little things, like ice cream sundaes when Carrie finally took her first steps. Everyone was happier, and Alexis didn't want to go back.

Exhibit D: She caught them kissing. They didn't see her, and they didn't know she saw. They were supposed to be cooking dinner. But while the water was boiling, Kate had wrapped her arms around her Daddy's neck, and he had placed his hands on her hips, and they pushed themselves close together, like when Belle and the Beast kiss. She had run to tell Gram, who turned to look, and then turned back, hiding a smile behind her hand. She brought a finger to her lips. "Shhh. Let them have their moment, sweetheart." Alexis nodded, a grin on her own face, and sat down to try and have a tea party with Carrie.

All of this had led her to a conclusion. And part of her wanted to leave it alone, let it figure itself out. But as they all sat around the table, she couldn't help it anymore. "Kate?" she called out to the woman across the table from her.

Kate turned and looked at her, a smile on her face. "Yes, Lex, what can I do for you?"

"Are you my Dad's new girlfriend?"

Alexis watched as Kate dropped her fork, and looked at her Daddy for help.

Grams tapped her hand. "I said to let them be, not ambush the poor girl!" But that was confusing, because Alexis had let them have their moment, and now it was over. And Alexis just really wanted to know.

"Um, well, Lex," Kate stammered, her face red, "It's complicated." She copped out.

"But why is it complicated?" She asked, throwing herself back in her chair, exasperated.

"Alexis, don't whine." Her Daddy's firm voice scolded, and she rolled her eyes because she didn't wine. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"

"Fine." She agreed, returning to her meal. When daddy use his voice like that, she knew there was no arguing. But she wanted to talk about it now.

She saw them talking after dinner while they cleaned up. They weren't as close as they had been when they were cooking, and Kate looked nervous. Alexis wanted to see them kiss again.

When he talk to her in that night, he tried to avoid the question, pretending it had never happened. But she was six, and big now, and new all his tricks. "Daddy, is Kate your girlfriend?"

He sighed. "She is right, pumpkin, it's complicated."

"Well why did you kiss her?"

He sat at the foot of her bed. "You saw that?"

Alexis nodded. "Uh huh! And you told me that we only kissed family and girlfriends or boyfriends on the lips. And that I can't have a girlfriend or boyfriend until I'm 40."

He smiled at her. "That's right. I'm glad you remembered that." He sighed. "I want Kate to be my girlfriend, if that's okay with you. I'm supposed to go talk to her about it on Friday night. You and Carrie will hang out here with Grams while I go on a real date with Kate."

Alexis grinned and kick her feet, unable to contain her excitement in her head anymore. "Does Kate want you to be her boyfriend?"

He shrugged. "I think so."

"Yay!" She set up and hugged him. "I think it will be great."

She felt his chest rumble with laughter underneath her head. "I'm happy to hear it. But nothing is for sure yet."

How could I be sure? They both wanted to be boyfriend and girlfriend, so they should just do it! Grown-ups are so confusing. She laid down in bed. "Okay." She sighed, tired of the conversation, but excited for the future. "Love you."

He leaned down and kissed her hair. "Love you too."

* * *

><p>AN: I try to stick with a point of view for one complete chapter before I change. I usually default to Kate, but I like to switch things up. I thought it would be interesting to see things from Alexis' point of view!

I'm glad you all liked the little poem last time! I wrote this whole poem as a senior in high school for my AP psych class about toys in the classroom coming alive. My teacher loved it, and told me I should try to get it published as a children's book, but when my first computer crashed I lost it... :(


	11. Chapter 11

Kate dropped her fork and looked at Rick for help as his daughter spoke. She could feel her cheeks turning red, and see the slight expression of amusement on his face. And despite being somewhat amused, she was mortified that a six year old was so in tune to their relationship, whatever the label was. Her mind raced as she tried to find the proper response, musing after each possibility before the words "It's complicated," came tumbling out of her mouth. Nope, not what she wanted to say, but since the birthday party, she hadn't even discussed these feelings with Rick. The first time she called him her boyfriend was not going to happen as she talked to his daughter.

She was relieved when he took over, squashing the discussion before it even started, taking the pressure off of her. But watching Alexis sulk in her seat, her questions unanswered made her upset, and she wished she could go back and say anything else rather than push the curious girl's inquiries to the side. They returned to their dinner and ate in relative silence. Carrie was quiet too, as if she could feel the tension in the room. When they finished, Martha leaned down to grab Carrie from Kate's arms, and whispered to Kate. "You two clean. I think you have a lot to talk about." She shot a knowing look in Kate's direction, which had her blushing again, and whisked Carrie away to the living room. Alexis ignored them, joining her grandmother and the baby in the other room.

Kate dropped her head in her hands and groaned. She felt his hands on her back, reassuring her. "Please tell me this is a dream. I wasn't really asked about our relationship by your six-year-old?"

He chuckled. "I'm sorry." He pushed her hair out of the way and moved to her shoulders. "But soon we can laugh about it, right? Kids are way more perceptive than we give them credit for."

She could almost see his smirk in her mind's eye as he rubbed her shoulders. "You didn't arrange this, did you?" she teased.

He moved his hands from her shoulders, causing her to look up at him. He shook his head from side to side. "Of course not, Kate. I don't want to push you, and I want you to trust me. I wouldn't betray your trust like that."

She smiled up at him before moving her plate to the sink. "I know that. It just seemed odd coming from her."

Rick laughed, putting the leftovers into little containers. "Not really. She's a pretty curious kid." Kate chuckled at that, and they settled into an uncomfortable silence as she washed the dishes. She wasn't expecting it when he put down his towel and turned himself toward her. "Are you?"

She looked at him, taking in the serious expression that was etched into his face. "Am I what?"

"My new girlfriend." He stated, as if it were an obvious question.

She sighed, her hands dropping into the soapy water in the sink. "Do we need to talk about this now?"

He put the plate he was holding into the cupboard. "I say yes. You said it yourself, it's complicated, and I kind of want to give my daughter a better answer than that."

She sighed, grabbing the towel and drying her hands as she turned to face him. "I get it. I have it easy. Telling Carrie that we are dating isn't a big deal to her." She glanced toward the living room, noticing Alexis' little blue eyes trained on them, like she was expecting to see something. She looked back at him. "But something tells me that this discussion is going to take a little longer than a few minutes. And it's getting late, and we have to be up early tomorrow."

Rick sighed, resting his hands on the back of his neck. "Well, we can't avoid this forever, Kate. We need to talk."

She nodded, taking his hand. "I know. All I'm asking for is two days. I have Friday night off, we can go on a proper date, and we can talk."

He glanced in the other room, where their daughters were playing, Alexis no longer watching them. "Who are you going to get to watch Carrie?"

She sighed. "I mean, my dad has offered."

"Yeah, but are you comfortable with that?" He asked her, studying her face.

She shrugged. "I'm getting there."

He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. "But you aren't there yet."

She didn't answer him, she knew he could see in her face that she wasn't. She just started trusting her father alone with Carrie for a few hours at a time, overnight was a stretch. "I mean, he used to stay with me overnight, and he did okay back then." She offered, chuckling at the grimace on his face as she said it.

"But that was before his alcoholism, and he's out of practice. Don't do something you're uncomfortable with just so we can talk." They were both quiet, each mulling over the dilemma and trying to come up with solutions. Kate knew they needed a real date, one where she didn't have to wrangle her toddler, or answer awkward questions. Maybe being alone together wasn't in the cards.

"What about my mother?" He threw out, watching her and gauging her reaction.

Kate turned and watched Martha interact with the two girls in the living room. She was singing songs, captivating Carrie while Alexis clapped along. "I'd feel more comfortable with that." She answered him honestly, turning back to look at him.

"And then we can just come back here, so you don't need to leave her overnight."

She flashed him a small smile. "That sounds perfect, actually."

He nodded, pulling her in for a hug. "I'll talk to her about it, but I'm sure it will be fine. Friday it is." He released her, and they finished the dishes in awkward silence. Kate left soon afterward, a sleepy Carrie in her arms. She pressed a tender kiss to Rick's cheek as she left, as soon as she realized little eyes weren't watching, and drove home with a smile on her face, excited to see what Friday would bring.

She arrived at his place later than she wanted to on Friday, discovering that getting ready for a date with a curious toddler wasn't exactly easy. Carrie wanted to play with the make-up brush, dry her hair, put on lipstick. She was trying to be like Kate. Which had been adorable, but now she was a half hour late. He didn't look angry when he opened the door, but the "Sorry!" tumbled past her lips anyway as she walked past him and placed Carrie in the arms of Martha. She turned back to him. "I should have started getting ready earlier, I didn't realize exactly how difficult it would be with Carrie."

He wasn't listening, she realized. His eyes were dancing over her, studying her, and she took the opportunity to study him. He was dressed up, in a nice deep blue suit that brought out his eyes. He looked important and well put together. And she could definitely get used to the way he was looking at her, sweeping up and down, a look of awe etched into his face. She loved this deep purple dress, because it showed off her legs and hugged her curves. And she made a mental note to wear it again if it made him check her out like this. "Take a picture, it will last longer." She teased him, while Martha chuckled from behind her. Kate turned to face the older woman. "Are you sure you're okay with this? I don't want to impose…"

"Katherine, don't worry!" Martha interrupted, throwing an arm around Kate's shoulders. "Go out, have a good time, come back or don't come back, I don't care. I love spending time with you and your wonderful daughter." Her smile was warm as she tightened her arm around Kate. "It's a shame I only get one of you tonight, but you two deserve a quiet night out."

Kate grinned, hugging her back. "Thank you. I owe you."

"You really don't." She answered back. She waved her hand in the direction of the door. "Now scoot out of here, both of you." She pushed gently on Kate's back. "I mean it, get out of here!"

Kate and Rick laughed as they were shoved from his loft and the door slammed behind them. She laced her arm in his, allowing him to lead the way.

She was somewhat surprised when he led her to the parking garage, and not to the car service she knew he had access to. She was even more surprised when he stopped in front of a red Ferrari, sliding his key into the lock, and opening the passenger side door for her. "I hope you like the wind in your face, Kate."

She couldn't hide the grin from her face as she rushed toward him and sat in the car, leaning back against the leather seats. "Are you kidding me, who doesn't like the wind in their face?" It reminded her of her days on her motorcycle. The wind was never in her face, but she could feel it whip her hair as it stuck out from her helmet. And she could feel it on her back, or feel it making her jacket flap. She was tempted to use that one remaining night of free babysitting so she could just ride her motorcycle around the countryside. They took off, and she lifted her head and closed her eyes, feeling the cooler night air on her face, and grinning from ear to ear. "I missed this."

"Missed what?"

She chuckled. "The wind. Did I forget to tell you I have a motorcycle?"

"Yeah, you forgot to mention that." He teased, watching her with amusement. She chuckled to herself. The amount of things he didn't know about her could fill a book. Eventually that would all change. She had already shown more of herself to him than she had to anyone else in a long time.

"I'll show it to you sometime."

He grinned. "I'd like that."

He pulled up outside of a fancy Italian restaurant, ran around to open her door for her, and handed his keys to the valet. She laced her arm in his again and followed him inside.

"Name please." The maître d' asked without looking up.

"Donny, my man. Is that how you greet me?"

The man looked up, and his face broke into a huge grin. "Ricky! No one told me you were coming today!" The two men shook hands, while Kate looked on, feeling somewhat like a third wheel.

"It was a last minute reservation! First date with my girlfriend, I had to take her somewhere nice."

Donny met Kate's eyes and held out a hand. "Wow, you are so out of his league!" Kate let out a laugh at that and shook the man's hand, easing some of the tension in her body.

"Kate, this is a good friend of mine from my high-school days, Donovan Mitchell." As soon as he said the name, it clicked. Donovan Michaels was a supporting character in Hell Hath No Fury, who also liked to go by Donny. "And this is my lovely girlfriend, Kate." Rick finished the introductions, and Kate released Donny's hand.

Donny grinned, leaning toward her. "First date, and he's already calling you his girlfriend?"

She laughed. "Don't let him fool you, we've known each other for a year." And they have been pseudo-dating for about two months, not that she had ever admitted that out loud, and wasn't about to start.

Donny nodded, looking down at the seating chart. "So this has been a long time coming." He gave some menus to another waitress and pointed at the chart in front of them. "I'm glad you decided to share this happy moment with us, and I wish you both many more to come." His smile as he spoke was genuine, and Kate could feel herself relaxing.

At the table, he ordered wine, and they both ordered their food before he broached the topic. "So, why are you so hesitant?"

She sighed, pushing her hair out of her face. "I don't think I even know right now."

He looked confused, his face mirroring her thoughts inside. "Okay." He spoke slowly, dragging the word out, as if deciding what he wanted to say next. "What are you worried about? We can tackle those one at a time."

She nodded, thinking of the biggest issue on her mind. "Our kids. If this doesn't work out, we aren't the only ones that get hurt."

"Ah! But we each made a promise to each other not to leave the kids, no matter how awkward it gets between us. So that is invalid."

She laughed. "We did. But there will be a difference, and we learned the other day just how well kids observe things."

He laughed, thinking of his daughter's outburst. "Yeah, she saw us kissing." He explained. He leaned toward her, his elbows on the table, propping up his hand. "And what makes you think that this won't work out, anyway?"

She shook her head. "It's not that I think it won't, I just try to imagine every possibility in my head before I make life changing decisions."

"Okay." He said again. "Unfortunately, I won't have an answer for that until our demise, so I guess we will have to cross that bridge when we get to it. Unless, you don't think you can be there for Alexis?"

She shook her head enthusiastically, her curls bouncing on her shoulders. "Of course I'll be there for her, I promised!"

He grinned. "Okay, good! What else?"

She squirmed a bit in her seat. "I know it sounds stupid, but the age difference. You are already established with a career, a family, a place to live. I'm just starting my life, a bit out of order, but still not quite as put together as you."

He thought about that one for a bit, mulling it over in his mind before he spoke. "I mean, what exactly about it bothers you? Because if it makes you feel wrong, we shouldn't do this. If you are worried about what other people think, screw them!"

She laughed at this, leaning forward to copy his pose and looking him in the eye. "It doesn't bother me that much. I guess the only person I worry about what they think is you." His eyebrows raised at her comment. "I mean, does it bother you that I'm not as put together as you are?"

He shook his head. "No! I was where you are once, and you are way more put together than I was at 21."

She had trouble accepting the compliment. The only reason she was so put together was because of Carrie. She only had Carrie because of a lapse of judgment. That whole situation forced her to grow up. She wouldn't trade her daughter for anything, but she wished she could go out sometimes and not feel guilty about getting drunk. The thing was, she knew she was a better person with Bean in her life. She didn't want to go back to the person she had been before. Bean had forced her to grow up, and stop thinking about herself, helped to motivate her Dad to get sober, and introduced her to Rick, all before she turned one. "Thanks." She answered, accepting the compliment genuinely.

Their food came out then, and they were both quiet as they ate, savoring every morsel. It was Kate who spoke next, not needing him to prompt her. "I worry about my school a lot too. I know I'm graduating soon, but then I have the academy, and I just want to give this relationship priority, which I can't guarantee at this moment."

Rick shook his head. "Okay, so, what about after that. I'm worried that you will keep putting this off. Next it will be, 'I need to find a good job first,' and after that it will be, 'give me some time to get established.'" He ate another bite of his pasta. "Relationships aren't perfect. They exist so that you can rely on someone through the tough times, like your school, or how insane I get when I have writer's block. It's just like having kids, there is no perfect time."

She nodded. "Okay. I hear you."

"You can't refuse to date someone because you are afraid of breaking your daughter's heart, because you'll never be happy that way, and you deserve to be happy. And it's better for her because she will have a good example of a healthy relationship. You can't refuse to date someone because you are afraid of what other people will think. All that matters is what you think. And you can't refuse to date someone because of timing, because it will never be right." He summarized her worries easily, and reached across the table to grab her hand. "Kate, I want you. Only you. Because you are smart, and fun, and a wonderful parent, and ambitious, and driven, and focused. And I want your flaws. Your indecisiveness, your insecurities, your past, your baggage. Kate, I want all of you. I think every little bit of you is wonderful, and I want to help you see that, bit by tiny bit. If you'll let me."

As he spoke, her heart soared, and for once, she didn't doubt herself. She saw herself for a moment through his eyes perfectly, and she knew that despite what she told herself, maybe she really was right for him. "I'd like that."

He grinned, leaning back in his chair. "So this is official now? No more of this kinda sorta stuff? Because that's tiring, and I really want to be able to tell my daughter."

She laughed as she bobbed her head up and down. "No more of that, and you can tell Alexis whatever you'd like." She paused for a minute. "Do you think she's happy about it?"

He laughed. "Kate, she is so excited about the idea that she couldn't stay still. How do you think she'll react when it's reality?"

"Thank God!" she blurted, eliciting a chuckle from him.

They ordered dessert, a molten chocolate cake. He drove them back to his place, where they shared more wine and just talked. They talked all night, until she started to fall asleep on the couch. She was almost asleep when she felt him lay the blanket on top of her, and felt his lips graze her temple. And she wasn't quite sure if the "I love you" she heard whispered was real or part of her dream.

* * *

><p>AN: I know it's technically Thursday... My cousin had a baby, and I've been working on this bubble quilt for her since I've been home and my sewing machine is available, and I sort of lost track of the days. So here is your chapter! Enjoy, and tell me what you think!

Oh, and also, I will never ever _ever_ get tired of hearing Kevin Ryan say "Hey, Castles." They can put it in every episode. I don't care.

Oh yeah, one more thing! if you go to my tumblr (soprano 193, like everything else) and to this post ( post/113320380557/images-of-carrie-jo-through-the-years-or-at-least ) I found a bunch of pictures that all are sort of the way I view Carrie, if anyone is interested in checking that out!


	12. Chapter 12

Rick had known for a while that he loved Kate. He couldn't pinpoint the precise moment that he fell in love with her, but by the time they finally had their first date, he knew it without a doubt. So when he tucked that blanket around her and whispered it into her ear, he knew he was telling her the truth. And seeing the soft smile curl into her face as he said it was the icing on the cake to a wonderful night.

The next morning, he found her sprawled out, her hair draping gracefully over the arm of the couch. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Her eyes fluttered open as she woke, stretching her arms above her head. "Hey." Her voice was thick with sleep, but the smile stretched wider, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Hey." He repeated, holding out a mug. "Coffee?"

She sat up and reached for it eagerly, pulling it from his hands. "Oh, you are the best." She enthused as she took a sip.

He chuckled. "I haven't even finished the pancakes yet."

"Mmmm, pancakes." She looked around the empty living room. "Where did you set the pack and play up for Carrie?"

"Upstairs, in the guest room. Mother is right next door to her."

Kate got up from the couch and pressed her lips to his, wrapping an arm around his neck. When she pulled away, she was still smiling. "I might go up and sit outside the door, wait for her to wake up, you know? She might have missed me."

Rick chuckled at that, understanding what she was feeling. It was natural for most parents to feel that way, even after an amazing night. She missed her daughter, and he loved her for it. He squeezed her shoulder. "She probably did. Go ahead. The pancakes will still be here when you come back." She kissed him again, leaving the coffee cup on the table as she sauntered upstairs, still in her dress from the night before. He would have offered her new clothes. He would have offered her the bed, but she was falling asleep so fast, insisting on trying to stay up as late as possible talking, and he didn't want to scare her off. The couch was more comfortable that it looked though, and she seemed well rested.

He returned to the pancakes, flipping them, and cutting up some fruit to make happy faces on them. It was something he usually only did for Alexis, but he was happy today, and wanted everyone else to be happy too.

He heard little feet on the stairs, thumping their way down, and felt his daughter's little arms around his legs before he could turn. He stroked her hair, which his mother had done in two French braids the night before, and put down the spatula. He lowered himself down to her, so he could hug her properly. "Hey, Pumpkin! Did you have fun with Carrie and Grams last night?"

Alexis grinned. "Yeah. Grams sang us songs and we had a dance party!" She demonstrated, twirling in her nightgown as he watched. She stopped, her movements sudden, and looked up at him. "Daddy, why is Kate still in her dress from last night? And why is she sitting outside the guest room?"

"Well, she fell asleep on the couch after our night out, and didn't bring any pajamas with her. And she is waiting for Carrie to wake up."

Alexis was silent, thinking about this, but accepted the facts with a single nod of her head as she sat at the table. "Can I have some orange juice, please?"

"Of course." He pulled her small plastic cup out of the cupboard and grabbed the juice from the fridge. Her smile excited him as he handed her the glass. He put the juice away and went back to cooking.

Alexis had already dug into her pancakes when Kate came back downstairs, a babbling Carrie in her arms. "Rick, it smells delicious. Thank you!"

"Anytime!" He answered her as he took Carrie from her. "You tell your Mommy that I mean that. You two are always welcome here." Carrie grinned, her toothy smile lightening his mood more than he thought possible. She babbled back at him, nonsense syllables, and a few words thrown in here and there. When she stopped, he talked back to her. "Wow! What a lot of stuff you did!"

"Yeah." She answered back. As Kate sat down to her own plate, Carrie continued to babble and Rick held her, sharing his fruit with her. They ate breakfast together like normal, almost as if it was one of their Wednesday night dinners. They joked, laughed, and told stories. Through it all, Rick could only think that this is what a real family was supposed to feel like.

When they left, Kate talking about changing and meeting up with her father, he kissed her goodbye at the door, both of them smiling at the squeals of his daughter. He didn't repeat his words from the night before, afraid to scare her off. He didn't want her to feel forced to reply. Instead, he sends her off with a "See you soon."

She nods. "I'll call tonight." She presses a kiss to his cheek and squeezes his hand as she leaves, a content smile on her own face.

Rick turned and watched Alexis, who was bouncing on the balls of her feet. His mother, who had joined them partway through breakfast, had her hands clasped in front of her and a knowing grin on her face. He kneeled down in front of his daughter, who was so excited that he thought she would jump out of her skin, and grabbed her shoulders, calming her a bit. "We are going to see more of Kate. Is that okay?"

"Yes!" She squealed, wrapping her arms around him. She pulled away, their blue eyes meeting as she studied him. "Does this mean she is your girlfriend now?"

He laughed. "Yes, Pumpkin. Kate is my girlfriend."

And they did see her more. They still swapped responsibilities for Wednesday night dinners, but other nights she was usually at their place. Sometimes Martha joined, sometimes she didn't. Jim still liked to join when Kate hosted dinner at her place. They met for coffee before Kate went off to work, and sometimes, Rick took Alexis for lunch at Remy's. They would sit in her section, drive her nuts, and sometimes make her sit down with them for a little bit. Rick tipped her better than usual when they did that, and she noticed the number went up any time he saw her getting in trouble for her special treatment towards them. She told him one night that it wasn't a problem, that as long as she took care of her other tables, she wouldn't lose her job. She was a hard worker, and they didn't want to lose her.

On the weekends, Kate and Carrie spent the night. These days Rick had come to look forward to. They usually ate dinner and played games. Not so much laser tag, because Carrie was afraid when the lights were out. But Rick came home with three Nerf guns one day, and that always turned into a full out battle. And Kate schooled them every time. This was usually followed by a bath, both girls howling at the moon and splashing each other. Bath time with just Alexis wasn't the same, and he could see on her face that she felt the same way. After a bath, they would watch a movie until the girls fell asleep, each carrying their respective child to their sleeping place. The pack and play had been set up in the office full time, an ever present reminder throughout his week that they would be back on Friday night, working their way further and further into his heart.

And, of course, he loved having Kate in bed with him. Wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. Their connection was so strong already, but in those intimate moments that she invited him to witness, it was even stronger, and he didn't know how he could ever go back to life without her in it. And after their releases, as her eyes fluttered closed, he whispered to her, telling her how much he loved her as she drifted off to sleep.

It was a Friday, shortly after school started again,when she barged into his loft, a flurry of anger and disgust. She plopped Carrie down in the pack and play, and whirled to face him, stretching out a newspaper. _ Age is Just a Number to Richard Castle._ "Are you kidding me?" He growled as he snatched it from her, speeding through the article. It talked about him bringing his playboy antics to a new level by dating someone ten years younger than him. There were pictures of her, and her name was definitely printed. He looked up at her, at a loss as to how to help. "I'm sorry." He offered.

She huffed. "I get it, you're a public figure, but this is ridiculous."

He nodded. "I agree. But I thought we said that the age thing wasn't a problem unless you were uncomfortable with it?"

Her eyes squinted in confusion, and he realized that he was seeing this in a different light than she was. "That's not what I'm upset about."

He sighed. "Okay. But you're going to have to help me out because I'm a little lost."

She pointed to the first picture, and he understood immediately. There were tons of pictures in the article, and most of them shared one person. "I don't want her photographed, Rick." In all of her pictures without him, Kate was carrying the toddler. There was one picture with him and Carrie, the caption underneath reading, _Is the Master of the Macabre playing Mr. Mom to Beckett's kid?_ All he could feel was the disgust and anger that was coursing through Kate's veins coursing through his. This was different than what he had experienced with Meredith. Meredith tended to prance around with Alexis like she was an accessory. She liked to take the girl out to premieres, or anywhere else she knew there would be cameras to capture their outings. He wouldn't be surprised if she had called them herself. This anger at the injustice that he was seeing in Kate, the way she shielded her daughter, he found it refreshing.

He shook his head. "No, this isn't okay." He picked up the cordless phone on his desk and dialed Paula's number. He was upset when he got her answering machine instead of her personally. "Listen, Paula. I've got Kate here with me and she's pretty mad. I'm a little mad too, to tell the truth. Same deal for Kate's daughter as the one for Alexis. Kate doesn't want Carrie's photos published, and neither do I. Don't let it happen again. Call me back when you get this." He hung up the phone and stood up, pulling his girlfriend in and holding her close. "I'm sorry." He told her again, more sincere this time now that he knew why she was upset.

"What can Paula do?" She asked, her voice smothered by his shoulder.

"She can pass the message along to photographers, some of the paparazzi agencies, and make a public announcement. It won't stop, but there will be more control, and it will happen less." He explained. "I don't like it when they photograph Alexis, and I don't like it when they target Carrie and upset you."

She pulled away. "I didn't sign up for this when I agreed to date you, officially."

He panicked a bit as she said this, but let her get her distance as she backed away. "I understand that. But before we do something that I know we will both regret, give it a week. She won't be in the papers again, not like that. I promise."

He could see her think it over before she flashed him a small smile and rushed back into his arms. "Did you really think I would break up with you over this?"

He chuckled. "You made me nervous there for a second."

"Cor!" he heard the little one yelling from her back and play. He disentangled himself from Kate's arms and made his way over to the toddler. He lifted her and placed a kiss to her curls.

"Hey, Bean! Want to color?"

She grinned, pleased that he understood her word. "Cor!" She repeated, reaching for a pen on his desk.

He laughed. "How about we go find some crayons. And Alexis might color with you."

"Lec cor."

They both laughed at that. "Yes, Bean, Lex will color with you." Rick walked with them out to the living room. He plopped her down in front of the coffee table, and gave her a few pieces of paper. Alexis came over and sat next to the toddler, and they drew pictures together while Rick and Kate cooked. As he watched Kate, it seemed like he had relieved at least some of her fears. She wasn't as tense, and she seemed to be truly enjoying herself. It put him slightly more at ease seing that her comfort level had risen.

It was while they were eating that Paula called. He didn't answer, but they all heard the answering machine pick up. "Hey Rick, just calling you back. Tell Kate that she's all set, her daughter won't be in the press, just like I do for Lex. You must really care for this girl, I've never heard you so angry before. Good luck, and enjoy the rest of your evening."

He watched Kate let out a relieved sigh, and then her hazel eyes met his. She mouthed a simple _thank you_ to him from her spot across the table. They went back to the meal, neither of them bringing it up again.

That night, after a bath and Cinderella, he held her close, her back against his chest. He heard her breathing slow as he stroked her hair. He pressed a kiss right below her ear as she drifted off, and whispered again to her. "I love you."

She turned herself so she was facing him. She kissed him with a tenderness that he didn't really expect with the sudden way she had moved. She pulled away and met his eyes, and he wondered to himself how many times she had faked sleep to hear his declaration. But soon it wouldn't matter anymore. "I love you too."

* * *

><p>AN: Just in case anyone is wondering about a timeline, I have Carrie's birthday as sometime in June, Alexis' question about a month later in July (leading to the date where they got together officially), and this chapter ends in early September. This is sort of to clear it up in my head as well as clear up any confusion.

I want more Ryan and Esposito centered episodes, they're always awesome! Those boys are pretty great! Maybe even something with Gates, because she seems pretty badass. I like to imagine her being like Beckett when she first started out.

Tell me what you think, and I hope you all are having a fantastic week!


End file.
